Ask A Man 28 March

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Ask a Man 20 March '25: 'In love with someone I've never met.'

Anonymous says mid last year she found a lady on social media who she liked but only DM’d her earlier this in January and confessed her feelings.  Anonymous says it turned out the lady also liked her and so they started dating online, as they’ve never met. Anonymous says their relationship was going well until Anonymous wasn’t in a good mood one day and took those emotions out on the lady.  Anonymous says things weren’t the same since that day, and the lady eventually broke things off with her. Anonymous doesn’t know what to do as she loves this lady a lot!

Ask a Man - 19 March '25: 'My partner is too controlling.'

Anonymous says she met guy no.1 last year at her new church after moving to a new province. Anonymous says they started dating shortly after their first interaction.  Anonymous says things were good between them until she went back home to visit and says when she came back to her new area she realised that his energy had changed, and upon searching on his phone, she found that he was still chatting to and spending time with  other girls.  Anonymous confronted him about this and he explained that he did already have thing with one of the girls while they started with their thing…

Ask A Man 18 March '25: 'My partner is in love with me but I'm not sure.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her current partner for 5 years and says he’s a great partner and takes care of her, and he’s even paid lobola for her.  Anonymous says her problem is she feels a void in her relationship, and says there’s no spark and passion, it’s just boring. Anonymous says she likes him but doesn’t think he’s the one.  Anonymous says one of the issues in their relationship is that they don’t have a good communication.  Anonymous is not sure if she should fight for the relationship or just break up with him.

Ask a Man 17 Mar '25: 'All men cheat.'

Anonymous says she met her current husband when they were in high school, but they couldn’t really be together at the time. Anonymous says over the years they’d meet up and hook up, but never really became official.  Anonymous says they went their separate ways at some point and during that time she  had a baby with someone else. Anonymous says they eventually got together and they got married.  Anonymous says her partner used to cheat on her a lot with different people, and says she initially brushed it off as something men do, but as time went by it became too much for her, and she separated from her husband. Anonymous says he’s been asking her to forgive him for a while now, and she’s not sure if she should get back together with him.

Ask a Man 14 March '25: 'My partner is in love with her ex.'

Anonymous says he met a lady in 2023 and their relationship was soaring until the father of her child, who wasn’t present when anonymous met the lady, came back into the picture last December. Anonymous says the lady started communicating more with the father of her child at that point. Anonymous says the lady then attend a family funeral after the the father of her child’s brother past away. This led to the lady rekindling things with the father of her child and she essentially got back together with him.

Ask a Man 13 March '25: 'I had a baby with my partner's friend.'

Anonymous says he and his girlfriend started dating in 2018 and he says he was clear from the onset that he wants to have a child, she was ok with that only if they got married first, something anonymous says he wasn’t ready for.  Anonymous says years later he started having an affair with one of his partner’s friends and that went on secretly for a while. Anonymous says he brought up having a child again, and again his girlfriend said no and told him he could go outside and impregnate someone else.  Anonymous says after the fight with his girlfriend, he slept with the friend without protection and she fell pregnant with his child.  Anonymous says he confessed this to his partner and after meeting with her family they ended up breaking things off, but anonymous has now managed to patch things up with his girlfriend who says she’ll only get back together with him on one condition…

Ask a Man 12 March '25: 'Is he only with me because he needs my support?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 6 years, they have a child together and she came into their relationship with another child. Anonymous her partner is terrible with money and doesn’t include her in his financial decisions when he has money.  Anonymous says before he lost his job and didn’t have money, he would go out partying with friends and would cheat on her, but come back crying for forgiveness.  Anonymous says he’s now unemployed and broke and his behaviour has changed, he’s a better partner, shows her love and things are generally good.  Anonymous is worried that once he’s back on his feet, he’ll go back to his old ways and she’s no sure if she should leave him even though things are great right now.

Ask a Man 11 March '25: 'He said we couldn't be together because of his religion'

Anonymous says she met a guy while working at a religious organisation years ago and something developed between them but before anything could happen the guy told anonymous that they couldn’t be together due to his position in the organisation.  Anonymous says the guy married someone else about a year later after he told her they couldn’t be. By the time he got married, anonymous had already moved to another province because of work.  Anonymous says she also got married, and after some time the guy contacted anonymous and told her that he missed her and was sorry for everything that happened.  Anonymous says he told her that he was willing to divorce his wife for her but he couldn’t because of his position. Anonymous says they met up and their relationship got sexual but the guy started avoiding her after this.  Anonymous says it’s been a year since he started ignoring her, but she’s struggling to get over him.

Ask A Man 10 March '25: 'Dating guys that are with other people'

Anonymous says she met a guy a month ago and they immediately hit things off. Anonymous says three days into the relationship she snooped around and found out from one her friends that the guy is dating one of her friends in their neighbourhood.  Anonymous says she confronted him about this, however, they’ve continued to date as she says he won’t let her go. Anonymous says she also wants to break things off with him because he might be involved in dodgy businesses.  Anonymous says she also has another guy that she dated previously, who she really likes, but he is married.   Anonymous says dating is showing her flames and she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 7 March

Ask a Man 06 March '25: 'I'm addicted to my abusive partner.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for about 5 years, they live together and he’s even paid lobola partially. Anonymous says his partner was pregnant at some point but unfortunately she had a stillbirth. Anonymous says things changed in their relationship from this point. Anonymous says she started drinking and partying more, and would blame anonymous for her stillbirth. Anonymous says he broke things off with her because it was too much but got back together with her months later after she asked him to forgive her.  Anonymous says she continued to be messy and he has now moved out again. Anonymous says he loves her and still wants to be with her but he’s not sure if it can work between them.

Ask A Man 05 March '25: 'I need closure from my cheating partner.'

Anonymous says she met her partner in late 2023, she says they started as friends and it eventually turned into a romantic relationship. Anonymous says from the onset, they were honest with each other, had great communication and even shared about their past relationship traumas.   Anonymous says things have now taken a turn in their relationship after she found suspicious texts between him and another lady on his phone. Anonymous says she confronted him about this, he said they would talk about it, but that’s never happened.  Anonymous says the communication in their relationship has broken down and she doesn’t understand where they are at in their relationship.  Anonymous just wants him to be open and honest with her so she can better understand what’s happening between them.

Ask A Man 04 March '25: 'I love him but I'm tired of being a side.'

Anonymous says she met a guy 4 years ago and 5 months into their relationship he told her that he was in a relationship with someone else, after initially denying this fact. Anonymous says he told that her was with the mother of his child and they live together but their relationship is not great.  Anonymous says despite this fact, he’s a great partner who takes care of her and is always there for her which makes it so difficult to leave him.  She says 4 years later she doesn’t even know where he lives, he’s promised her that their relationship will eventually turn into something more but she’s not tired of the situation.

Ask a Man 03 March '25: 'Was I right for leaving my roller coaster of a relationship.'

Anonymous says he his ex partner in varsity in 2019 and they started dating back then. Anonymous says post varsity, they moved in together and he was taking care of both of them financially at the time.  Anonymous says their relationship was tumultuous, there was infidelity and lots of other conflicts in their relationship.  Anonymous says he then got a job opportunity in another area and their relationship became long distant. This added fuel to the fire and they ended up breaking up.  Anonymous suspects that she might have been cheating on him while they were still together. He’s tried to get back together with her, but it hasn’t worked out.  Anonymous wonders if he did the right thing by giving up on their relationship, especially because they have a child together.

Ask a Man 28 Feb '25: 'I think my man wants to be a house husband.'

Anonymous called last year and told us that her husband can’t seem to keep a job as he finds jobs and then resigns unreasonably after a short period of working.  At the time anonymous was advised to stand by her man, bring in the family and also check if there could be witchcraft involved.  It’s 7 months later since she called Ask a Man and she says she’s tried all that and it doesn’t seem to be helping. Anonymous says she wants to give up now.

Ask A Man 27 Feb '25: 'How do I leave my cheating partner?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 3 years now and and she gave birth to their child late last year.  Anonymous says after giving birth she found out that her partner was cheating on her. Anonymous says they patched things up after the infidelity, however, she’s struggling to move on from the cheating.  Anonymous says she still loves him and wants to be with him but needs help with forgiving him and moving on from his cheating.

Ask A Man 26 Feb '25: 'My husband is great but I'm in love with someone else.'

Anonymous says she’s been married to her husband for 10 years and they’ve known each from childhood as they grew up in the same area.  Anonymous says a few years ago, while her and her husband were going through a rough patch, she met someone else and says the connection with this person was strong and passionate.  Anonymous says they’ve eventually worked things out with her husband and she agreed with her husband to let the  other guy go and focus on them.  Anonymous says she never really stopped thinking about this other guy and he has now made contact with her after about a year and a half, and their connnection is very intense. Anonymous says things are great with her husband but she feels like the other guy could be the one and wonders if she can live with never trying with this guy.

Self Care 25 Feb

Ask A Man 25 Feb '25: 'My partner doesn't want to be married in community of property.'

Anonymous has currently been with his partner of 10 years and they are in a customary marriage. Anonymous says his partner only realised after the fact that because they completed the lobola process they couldn’t sign a prenup as they are already in a customary marriage.  Anonymous says his partner said at the time that she would never be happy in their relationship as she wanted to be married out of community of property because she doesn’t want anonymous’ children to benefit from her assets.  Anonymous says years later his partner separated from him as she wasn’t happy. Anonymous says time has gone by and his partner is still saying she’s not ready to get back together with him.

Ask A Man 24 Feb '25: 'My disappearing partner.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 10 years and he’s paid half the lobola to her family and 3 years ago and they now also have a child.  Anonymous says her partner once cheated on her and after going their separate ways for about 6 months because of this, she eventually forgave and they got back together.  Anonymous says it’s years later now and he’s been acting dodgy over the last few months. Anonymous says he tends to go out with friends and disappear on her without explanation. Anonymous says they fought about his behaviour last week and he left again and as it stands right now he doesn’t know where he is.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know if she should stay in this relationship, as she suspects that he could be cheating on her again.

Ask A Man 21 Feb. '25: 'Scared of getting back together.'

Anonymous says he met his ex wife 20 years ago in varsity and they immediately clicked but things came to an end when she dropped out of school. They reconnected 15 years later and ended u getting married.  Anonymous says their relationship was great, however they went through a lot: she lost her parents in consecutive years and he got sick. Anonymous says it became a lot on them and they ended up divorcing.  Anonymous says some time has gone by and they started talking to each other again and sparks are flying. Anonymous says they could get back together, but he’s not sure if he can risk  his heart.

Ask A Man 20 Feb '25: 'I think my partner hates my son.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 5 years, they’ve been living with each other for 3 years and they have a 1 year-old child.  Anonymous says she has an 8 year-old child and spoke to him about her child moving from her grandmother and living with them. Anonymous says her partner then went home to see his family and when he came back earlier this year, anonymous’ older child had moved in to their place.  Anonymous says since he’s been back, he’s been offish and she thinks he doesn’t like her older son. This tension led to them fighting and anonymous eventually moved out of that place and back to her own house.  Anonymous says they are not really speaking and are even making arrangements for visitations. Anonymous is not sure how to move forward

Ask A Man 19 Feb '25: 'Is he just dominant or controlling?'

Anonymous saying she’s recently moved to a new city  and then things ended in her relationship with her previous partner because of the distance.  Anonymous says she’s now met someone new, soon after the break-up, but feels like maybe she’s rushing into things after the break up.  Anonymous says she feels like the new guy is different to the other guys she’s dated. She feels like he’s dominant, but also bordering on being controlling. Anonymous is not sure if she’s just feeling this way because she’s fresh from a break-up.

Ask A Man 18 Feb '25: 'Why do I keep attracting the wrong type of guy?'

Anonymous called last year having troubles in her relationship and adding that she would like to be in a throuple type of situation where she would be with her man, at the time, and another woman, all dating each other at the same time. Anonymous says after calling into the show, she decided to take a break to work on herself, as she felt like she was attracting the same type of guys she doesn’t want to be with.  Anonymous says she’s been doing well on this journey but now feels like she’s still attracting the same type of men that she feels are not good for her and treat her poorly…

Ask a Man 17 Feb '25: 'I have evidence but he denies cheating on me.'

Anonymous says she met and started dating her partner in 2020. Anonymous says a year later in 2021 the guy started the lobola process in order to marry her.   Anonymous says they were blessed with a baby in 2022, but after giving birth she found out that her partner was cheating on her while she was at home nursing their new baby.  Anonymous says they separated after the infidelity incident, and got back together after family intervention months later. Anonymous says she’s recently given birth to their child.  Anonymous says her partner is now currently driving her car but she’s noticed, via tracker, that he’s been making some questionable trips to BNBs and when she tracked him down and confronted him about this, he denied having an affair…

Ask A Man 14 Feb '25: 'Am I expecting too much as a side?'

Anonymous says she’s speaking on her friend’s behalf…  Anonymous says she met a guy who’s son plays soccer with her son. They knew each other but only started talking when the guy gave anonymous a lift with her son to soccer practice.  Anonymous says the lifts continued and feelings grew between them, even though the guy has a girlfriend. Anonymous says they caught feelings for each other and started having a relationship.  Anonymous says the problem is that he tends to disappear on him and then comes back all lovey lovey. Anonymous is not sure how to deal with the situation.

Ask a Man 13 Feb '25: 'My partner is offering money for me to money to stay with him.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating a guy for about 2 months, after meeting him in November last year. Anonymous says she started dating this guy a while after her previous relationship with her ex who says is a narcissist.  Anonymous says weeks into the relationship he started showing signs of narcissism. She says his behaviour is reminding her of her ex and it’s turning her off. Anonymous says she’s slowly fazed him out of her life and he’s been trying to get back in.  Anonymous says he has now resorted to saying that it’s ok if they don’t to date, they can just have sexual relationship and he’ll pay her for this.  Anonymous says she still kind of likes him and finds herself confused by this offer and the meaning of their relationship.

Ask A Man 12 Feb '25: 'My partner has made me responsible for his kids.'

Anonymous says she has two kids from different fathers and says she’s now in a new relationship with a new guy who she says loves her and her kids.  Anonymous says things have been going well in their relationship until the mother of her partner’s two children found out about their relationship and has now sent those two children to come live with anonymous and her partner.  Anonymous says she loves her partner’s kids but says she’s struggling with now raising 4 children, and says she bares most of the burden of taking care of the 4 children.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to deal with this.

Ask a Man 11 Feb '25: 'Am I emotionally disconnected?'

Anonymous says she was married for 5 years and divorced her husband in 2023. Anonymous says later that year she got into a long distance situationship with a new guy.  Anonymous says communication is a bit of a problem in their relationship, she says he tends to disappear for days without saying anything and she leaves things that way but he has complained that he feels like her behaviour indicates that she is not that into him.  Anonymous is wondering if she really is disconnected in the relationship, she says every other aspect of the relationship is good, and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 10 Feb '25: 'Tired of being disrespected by my partner's family.'

Anonymous says she got married to her partner in 2020 after a year of being together and just before they had their first child.  Anonymous says at the beginning of their marriage she noticed that he wasn’t being fully transparent about his finances and she confronted him about that and that’s when he came clean and revealed details of the money he’s spending on his mom.  Anonymous says as time went by, her husband’s mother started calling anonymous, telling her that since she came into her son’s life, he doesn’t support her financially like he used to before he got married to anonymous.  Anonymous says her partner’s mother and other family members don’t have boundaries and are often rude when speaking to anonymous. Anonymous says she’s spoken to her partner about this but he doesn’t seem to be confronting his family about their behaviour.

Ask A Man 07 Feb '25: 'My partner is angry at me for speaking to my ex.'

Anonymous says she met an amazing guy last year in July, after breaking up with a man who she says was toxic and a serial cheater.  Anonymous says the relationship with the new guy has been going well but recently she unblocked her toxic ex and he ended up calling her and they spoke on the phone.  The issue now is that anonymous’ current partner found out about this call and is now angry at anonymous for unblocking her ex and not telling her current partner about this call.  Anonymous says she had told her partner about her ex and how horrible he was to her. Anonymous says her partner is now not speaking to her and won’t hear her out, she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask a Man 06 Feb '25: 'Is my partner over me?'

Anonymous says she started dating her partner in 2009 while she was in matric. She says the relationship went well and they eventually got married and now have 3 kids together.  Anonymous says in 2022 while she was pregnant with their third child she found out that her husband had impregnated someone else. Anonymous says this caused a rift in their relationship and she ended up in a situation where she was fighting to get him back and he was refusing.  Anonymous says her husband then lost his job and she took him back in her life an supported him, even when she lost her job, she used the little that she had to help him.  Anonymous says he then found a job, but left her and moved back home to his family’s home, where the lady he impregnated lives.  Anonymous says he’s supporting the children financially but their relationship is strained and she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 05 Feb '25: 'He's moved on, but I'm struggling to do the same.'

Anonymous says she got married to her high school sweetheart in 2017 and says their relationship was generally great. Anonymous says they had a child in 2019, but things got weird in 2023 when his behaviour changed and he was always irritable and seemed to be annoyed by her. Anonymous says the communication in their relationship also faded.  Anonymous says she eventually caught him cheating on her and after she confronted him about it, he said nothing and just moved out of their home. Anonymous says he’s still with the lady he cheated on her with and has even introduced that lady to his family.  Anonymous says she’s struggling to move on.

Ask A Man 04 Feb '25: 'I'm cheating on my cheating wife.'

Anonymous says he got married to his wife back in 2017 and shortly after they got married she started having an affair with her ex. Anonymous says he confronted her about this and she asked him for forgiveness, which he gave her but told her that something was broken between and that there would be consequences of her actions.  Anonymous says 5 years after his wife cheated on him, he ran into his high school sweetheart and he started having an affair with her. Anonymous’ wife now knows that he’s having an affair with his ex and he feels like he’s more in love with his ex than he is with his wife.  Anonymous says he never got over the cheating and doesn’t know how to move forward from here.

Ask a Man 03 Feb '25: 'We're married but our families don't know.'

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 10 years and they have a child together. When she called in last year she shared how she felt like her partner was not contributing financially in their household.  Anonymous says that situation has persisted and another thing is that they are in a civil marriage but their families are not aware of this situation.  Anonymous says he keeps coming up with financial excuses about why they can’t have an African traditional marriage, but she just doesn’t understand this. Anonymous is worried she might have made a mistake by marrying him.

Ask a Man 31 Jan '25: 'Are we moving too fast?'

Anonymous says she met a guy during our singles week here on Break Away last December. Anonymous says after he slides into her DMs things went well and she says he even involved her in many aspects of his life.  Anonymous says when the guy was looking for a new apartment, he roped her in and asked her to pick the apartment as she would also live there with him.  Anonymous says he’s said “I love you” to her and wants to introduce her to his family. Anonymous is worried that things are moving too fast between them.

Ask a Man 30 Jan '25: 'I'm living with my ex and it's miserable.

Anonymous says he was with his ex for a while and they even ended up buying a house together. Anonymous says during the course of the relationship, his partner cheated on him several times and he kept forgiving her until he couldn’t.  Anonymous says they ended up breaking up, however, they still live in the house together and the mood in the house is very tense and they are struggling to live with each other. Anonymous says selling the house is hard because of the current market conditions in their area. Anonymous feels stuck in this situation and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask a Man 29 Jan '25: 'Should I get back with my baby making ex?'

Anonymous says she met a guy in 2021 and says things were generally good in their relationship to point where they started trying for a baby.  Anonymous says the guy had fertility issues but eventually got medication and she fell pregnant but later miscarried.  Anonymous says she found out the guy was cheating on her and he even impregnated another woman which led to anonymous breaking up with him.  Anonymous says time went by and the guy reached out to her wanting to get back together, however, he now has a second baby with another woman. Anonymous is not sure if she should get back together with him, especially because he now has two children. 

Ask a Man 28 Jan '25: 'The one that got away?'

Anonymous says after going through a break-up in 2023, she went through a lot of anxiety and had to do a lot healing from that break-up. Anonymous says the issue now is a friend she’s known for most of her life that she has always sort of had feelings for but they never got together.  Anonymous says after her break-up they became closer with this guy and he eventually confessed his feelings for anonymous but she pushed him away because she wasn’t emotionally ready.  Fast forward to now, anonymous reached out to the guy and they linked up just last night but after anonymous asked, he revealed that he’s now in a relationship with someone else whom he really loves.

Ask a Man 27 Jan '25: 'I'm not ready to tell my parents about him.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for almost 6 years and their relationship has been good. Anonymous says her partner has introduced her to his parents but she hasn’t introduced him to her parents.  Anonymous says this has caused a rift in their relationship because it limits the kind of activities they can do as a couple and that limits their relationship in general.  Anonymous says her partner has brought this up and wants anonymous to tell her parents about him. She’s not sure about that as her parents are very strict and she would rather complete varsity first, before telling them.

Ask a Man 24 Jan '25: 'She cheated on me and now want's me back.'

Anonymous says he has 3 children with his partner and things were fine in their relationship until he found out, via texts on his partner’s phone, that she was busy with someone at the gym.  Anonymous says he confronted her about this, but she turned things on him and would even insult him. Anonymous says she eventually made it clear that she wanted to be with the other guy and that’s when they went their separate ways.  Anonymous says time has gone by and his financial situation has improved. They now have a good co-parenting relationship, and she wants to get back together. Anonymous says he still loves her but he’s not sure if he should get back together with him.

Ask a Man 23 Jan '25: 'Sex breaks and infidelity'

Anonymous says he’s been dating his partner for a few years now and back in 2021 she said to anonymous that she no longer want’s to have sex for religious reasons and wants them to save themselves for marriage.  Anonymous says despite this, he found out that she was actually sleeping with someone else. Anonymous says he forgave her and they moved on with the relationship. Anonymous says time went by and she once again said she wants to pause on the sex and he realised that this time around she was serious about her religion.  Anonymous says he then cheated on her with someone else and she ended up finding out...

Ask a Man 22 Jan '25: 'He wants to date both of us.'

Anonymous says she met a guy last year and things were not too serious when they started as they were both in relationships with other people.  Anonymous says they ended up agreeing to break up with their partners, she broke up with her partner but later realised that he hadn’t broken up with his partner.  Anonymous says he’s still in a relationship with the other lady and he can’t seem to decide what he wants and has floated the idea of continuing with dating both of them. Anonymous is not sure if she should stay in a relationship with him, as she really loves him.

Ask a Man 21 Jan '25: 'Juggling three guys'

Anonymous says she’s been with her current partner, guy no.1,  for about 8 years and says he has a child with another woman who she believes he might be married to traditionally.  Anonymous says guy no.1 also cheated on her multiple times and threatened to kill anonymous if she ever leaves him. However, she says they ended up separating at some point and that’s when she met guy no.2, who is a married man and they’ve been together for about 3 years, she says he’s very supportive and there’s conversations about getting into a polygamous marriage.  Anonymous says she then met guy no.3 about 5 months ago, their relationship has been going well, she gets along with his family, and she feels like she’s in love with him, however anonymous says she thinks they are not really compatible and she’s not sure about building something with him.

Ask a Man 20 JAN '25: 'My partner is over me.'

Anonymous says he met his partner about two years ago and they dated for a while before she fell pregnant.  Anonymous says things have gotten a bit weird in their relationship and he confronted his partner about feeling a gap between them. Anonymous says during that conversation he asked her what he did wrong and she responded that she feels like he’s too soft for her and doesn’t really enjoy anonymous’ personality or his dress style. Anonymous says she now wants to break-up with him, he doesn’t want to break-up with her. Anonymous says he’s not sure if he should fight for her.        

Ask a Man: 'Struggling to get back into the dating game.'

Anonymous says she got married in 1994 after knowing her partner for 3 months. Anonymous says months into the marriage she noticed strange things at her partner’s family home, including a small snake, at which point she moved back home.  They eventually moved into their own place and even had children. Anonymous says after up-skilling herself and getting a job, her partner started financially and emotionally abusing her and things were never great in their relationship from that point.  Anonymous says this went on for years and she eventually filed for divorce in 2020. Anonymous says it’s been a few years now since the divorce and she’s feeling lonely but struggling to get back into the dating game.

Ask A Man 16 Jan

Ask A Man 15 Jan '25: 'My partner abuses my son.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 6 years and they a 2 year-old daughter together and she came into the relationship with a child who’s now 6 years old.  Anonymous says things were fine but over the years she feels like her partner has become emotionally abusive and manipulative. Anonymous says a lot of the abuse is towards her 6 year-old child and he’s always chiding her child for various unreasonable issues.  Anonymous says she’s spoken to him about his behaviour towards her child but he’s not changing and even physically abuses her son. Anonymous says she want’s to end things but is not sure how to go about doing that, especially because they have a child together.

Ask A Man 13 Jan '24: 'Am I the biological father?'

Anonymous says he was in a relationship with a lady for many years and things were fine until her ex came back into he picture and wanted to be with this lady.  Anonymous says this caused a lot of conflict in their relationship, however, the situation was muted when this lady realised she was pregnant. Anonymous says after the baby was born the lady went back to her cheating ways and it led to him breaking up with her.  Anonymous says she’s not allowing him access to their child and when he threatened to bring in social workers, she insinuated to him that the child might not even be his. Anonymous is not sure how to go about determining the paternity of the child or how to process the fact that the child might not be his.

Ask a Man 14 Jan '25: 'My ex is caught between me and another man.'

Anonymous says the relationship with his ex was great and they had access to each others phones. Anonymous says he would see pictures of other guys on her phone but she denied there was anything happening with those guys.  Anonymous says things took a turn when she went on what she said was a vacation with her cousins and some other guys, but anonymous later realised that she was actually on vacation with her other boyfriend.  Anonymous says they fought about this and she essentially isn’t sure what she wants to do, anonymous says he has removed himself from the situation but now he’s not sure if he wants to try again with her.

Ask A Man - 13 Dec '24: A love twist for the 2024 finale.

We switched things up a little on the last episode of Ask a Man for the year; We requested listeners to share their relationship good news and stories of supportive partners. 

Ask A Man 02 Dec '24: 'Caught between good sex and financial support.'

Anonymous says she was married to her husband for 10 years when he passed away in 2022. Anonymous says her late husband’s friend got close to her and was supportive and they eventually kissed.  Anonymous says shortly after this they made an arrangement, anonymous would have sex with her late husband’s friend and the friend would support anonymous financially. Anonymous says the friend is married. Anonymous says the arrangement continued but in June this year she met a new guy who she really likes and she ended things with the friend. Her relationship with the new guy was going well until this new guy found out about anonymous’ relationship with her late husband’s friend who was still calling anonymous.  Anonymous is not sure if she should fight for the relationship with the new guy.

Ask a Man 11 Dec '24: 'Financial ties are keeping me in this toxic relationship.'

Anonymous says she’s been married to her partner since 2021, after knowing the guy for a year. Anonymous says when she met him, she was aware of his wild ways in his previous relationship where he cheated multiple times and had children outside of that relationship.  Anonymous says he became even worse in their marriage, where he even cheated on her with her best friend and would bring all kinds of girls to their place, anonymous says he’s fathered 3 children outside their marriage.  Anonymous says she eventually moved to another province so she could fade away from their relationship but her husband packed up and joined her in that province saying he loves her and she assumed he was serious.  Anonymous says he’s continued with his shenanigans but she’s struggling to leave their relationship because she feels like she’s too financially linked to him.

Ask A Man 10 Dec '24: 'Struggling to get over my cheating ex'

Anonymous says he was with his partner for 6 years and they met in varsity. Anonymous says at some point their relationship became a long distance relationship after leaving varsity, and for many years they were living in separate areas.  Anonymous says they were eventually both able to live in the same area, however, things took a turn in their relationship when he realised that his partner had been cheating on him by going on dates with other people.  Anonymous says he broke up with her because cheating is a dealbreaker for him. But months later he’s struggling to get over his love for her. Anonymous says he tried therapy and journaling but the only thing that makes him feel better is chatting to her.

Ask A Man 09 Dec '24: 'My partner wants to start on a clean slate after cheating multiple times.'

Anonymous says he started dating his partner in 2022 and in the same year he found out that she was having an affair and cheating on him. Anonymous says his partner denied this and they moved forward.  Anonymous says in 2023 he once again found out that she was cheating on him and yet again, his partner denied the cheating. Anonymous says she then fell pregnant with his child late last year.  Cut to 2024 and anonymous says he found out once again that she was cheating on him and this time around she finally admitted it and admitted to anonymous that she had been cheating on him all those other times.  Anonymous says she now wants to start on a clean slate, he still loves her but is not sure if he should continue with the relationship.

Ask A Man 06 Dec '24: 'My messy ex wants to get back together.'

Anonymous says she was a dating a guy about 5 years ago and he was cheating on her and the girl he was cheating on her with would harass anonymous, to a point where anonymous got a restraining order against her but the guy said to her that he didn’t want any involvement in the situation. Anonymous says they eventually broke up however she fell pregnant with this guy’s child and says he wasn’t supportive and only came back into anonymous’ life 8 months after the child was born and tried to get back into anonymous’ life, but that didn’t work out.  Fast forward to now, anonymous says she’s now been in a relationship with someone else for 3 years and the father of her child is back in her life again and the same girl is back to harassing anonymous again. Anonymous says the guy wants to be back together with her, and said he’ll support the child only if they are back together.

Ask A Man 05 Dec '24: 'Anonymous lied, I wasn't a serial cheater.'

Background: Yesterday anonymous called and spoke of a guy no.1 and a guy no.2. She said things were not great with guy no.1 because he was always cheating on her. Anonymous then met guy no.2 and dated both of them at the same time but eventually broke up with guy no.1, anonymous said she’s now with guy no.2 and called about their current issues.  This morning we’re speaking to guy no.1 who says he needs to set the record straight: He says he wasn’t a serial cheater and things weren’t great between them because of the financial issues he was facing.  Anonymous also says guy no.2 is someone he knows and used to hangout with.  Guy no.1 says he found out from a friend that anonymous was cheating on him with guy no.2 and he broke up with her.  Guy no.1 says he’s back together with anonymous currently and after calling Ask a Man yesterday, anonymous told guy no.1 that she’s done with guy no.2 and they spent the night together last night. Guy no.1 is not sure what to do in this situation.

Ask A Man 04 Dec '24: 'My partner is insecure and lazy'

Anonymous says she met at guy no.1 early last year, they started dating and moved in together by December of last year.  Anonymous says he cheated on her throughout their relationship and she then started dating someone else, guy no.2. Anonymous says she was juggling the two guys for a bit before breaking up with guy no.1.  Anonymous says she’s now dating guy no.2 but she struggles with him because he’s insecure, unemployed,  and she feels like he’s lazy. Anonymous says he’s policing her and thinks it’s based on the fact that she was dating someone else when they met each other.

Ask A Man - 03 Dec '24: 'My girlfriend thinks I cheated on her.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for two years and they lived together initially but decided to move into their own places at some point in their relationship.  Anonymous says the situation in their relationship right now is that he went out with his girlfriend’s neighbours and on the way back home to his girlfriend’s apartment he ran into his girlfriend’s neighbour and they walked home together.  When they got to the apartment block the girl realised she had the wrong keys and then took shelter with anonymous in his girlfriend’s apartment, and they ended up fetching the keys.  Anonymous says he was at his girlfriend’s place with his cousin, something his girlfriend didn’t want, so when she got back home the next morning she was upset about this.  Anonymous says his partner also later found out that he was in her apartment with her female neighbour and got upset about that. Anonymous says his girlfriend is now angry at him as she believes something happened between them.

Ask A Man 02 Dec '24: 'He shows very little affection and is always out partying.'

Anonymous says she’s known the guy she’s currently dating for many years starting from when they were in varsity.  Anonymous says years later after they started knowing each other they started a no strings attached relationship, however the guy disappeared on her after he got a job.  Anonymous says during their time apart the guy tried to rekindle things with her but she was in a relationship with someone else, which lasted 5 years. When that ended, anonymous reached out to the guy and they started linking up again and eventually got into a more serious relationship.  Anonymous says the guy now lives at her place, and at some point he was unemployed, so she was supporting him. Anonymous adds that she feels like he never shows that he loves her, he never posts her on social media or shows that he’s aware of her needs.  Anonymous says he’s always going out and coming back in the early hours of the morning. She’s not sure if she should remain in the relationship.

Ask A Man 29 Nov '24: 'I have to hide from my partner's "estranged" wife.'

Anonymous says she’s recently widowed and has now started dating again. She says she met a guy in October and they hit it off.  Anonymous says things have been good and he treats her well, however, he revealed to her that he’s actually in a long distance marriage but things are not working out in that marriage because of some issues, including the fact that the guy travels around a lot because of his job.  Anonymous says they’ve continued dating but now the guy sometimes doesn’t want anonymous to come over or leave her things at his place when she’s visiting because he’s worried his wife will find out about their relationship.  Anonymous says she’s not sure if she should continue with this relationship.

Ask A Man 28 Nov '24: 'Sneaky Links and baby mamas.'

Anonymous says she’s been her partner for 4 months and says that she crushed on him for a long time before they started dating.  Anonymous says at the onset of their relationship he would get calls from a mystery lady who he initially said was his sister but it later turned out that it was actually the mother of his child & they his in what he described as a “complicated” relationship with her. Anonymous says they continued with their relationship, however, while they were attending a function inside her partner’s complex he ended up in an altercation with a different lady during the function. Anonymous says he later confessed that the lady used to be a sneaky link and also that he’s actually still in a relationship with the mother of his child.  Anonymous doesn’t know if she should stick with him. 

Ask A Man 27 Nov '24: 'My partner won't forgive me for flirting with another guy.'

Anonymous says she met a guy in March last year and they started dating. She says things were fine until the guy found texts on her phone from another guy who was flirting with her, even though she wasn’t reciprocating.  Anonymous says after this incident things were no longer the same in their relationship and the guy would always bring up the incident. Anonymous maintains that the texts with the other guy were innocent on her part, and she wasn’t doing anything with the other guy.  Anonymous says since January this year, the guy has a habit of disappearing and reappearing in her life. He says he loves her but anonymous is not sure what to think of all of this.

Ask A Man 26 Nov '24: 'Is my partner in the closet?'

Anonymous says her dating life has been a bit of a struggle, however she met a guy 3 months ago who she suspects is gay.  Anonymous says she confronted him about this, she first revealed that she’s been with a girl and asked if he had been with a guy before. Anonymous says her partner told her that he’s only flirted with a guy before, and things didn’t go too far.  Anonymous says he’s also only ever touchy with her when they are in public but doesn’t show the same affection privately. Anonymous says she suspects he’s in the closet and even ended up blocking him for two days because of this. Anonymous says they are communicating again now, but she’s still not sure.

Ask A Man 25 Nov '24: 'She interested only when I have money.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 13 years and a few years ago he started the lobola proceedings but ended up cancelling as his partner was started changing on him because he became unemployed.  Anonymous says when this happened her partner said their child would no longer visit his parents as they are not married. Anonymous says he eventually found employment again and she’s still around but he’s told her that he’s not sure about her anymore because how she’s treated him in the past.  The current conflict in their relationship now is the people anonymous has listed as beneficiaries of his estate ,which is his mother & their child. Anonymous is not sure about this relationship and her behaviour.

Ask A Man 22 Nov '24: 'My partner and I keep going back and fourth.'

Ask A Man 21 Nov '24: 'My boyfriend just told me he has a wife.'

Anonymous says she met her partner about a year ago and says they got into a relationship, which anonymous says is her first relationship ever.  Anonymous says things have been going well in their relationship, however, she says before he could meet her family, he revealed to her that he’s actually married and wants anonymous to become his second wife.  Anonymous says there were no red flags and this confession hit her by complete surprise. Anonymous says their relationship has been amazing and she’s not sure if she wants to continue and become his second wife.  

Ask A Man 20 Nov '24: 'Is he really serious about me or was it all about the money?'

Anonymous says her and her current partner started working on businesses together early on in their relationship and things were generally ok until she realised that he would receive money from their clients and not be transparent with anonymous about the amounts as they were paid into his company.  Anonymous says her job at the time did not allow her to have side hustles, so they did business using his company.  Anonymous says they stayed together at her place because he couldn’t afford to pay for his own place but after the successes in the business he was upgrading his house without even speaking to anonymous about it.  Anonymous says after all this and some issues they had with their children, her partner told anonymous that he was moving back into his place and they would proceed to live in separate homes but remain a couple.  Anonymous says the relationship has faded since then, he’s tried to rekindle things but anonymous says she’s not sure and he’s also burnt bridges with her family through his treatment of her. 

Ask A Man 19 Nov '24: 'I Can't Lose My Ben-6'

Anonymous says she met a guy two weeks ago and they’ve been dating for 4 days. Anonymous says he’s in his early twenties, she’s in her mid-twenties, and things are going really well so far. Anonymous says her business is down the road from where the guy lives and a couple of days ago they got intimate with the guy which led to him arriving home past his curfew. Now his family has found out about their relationship and they are not happy. Anonymous says they now want the guy to move away from the area and she’s not sure what to do. She feels like she really likes him and doesn’t know if she should chat to his family about their relationship. Anonymous is also not sure if this is worth a fight. 

Ask A Man - 18 Nov '24: 'My partner mis-treated me when I was jobless.'

Anonymous says he’s been in a relationship with his partner for about 12 year, they have two children together and his partner came into the relationship with another child.  Anonymous says he lost his job during the pandemic, and got money from his workplace after being removed. Anonymous says he used the money to try and lobola his partner, but he eventually ran out of his savings and wasn’t able to complete the lobola. Anonymous says his partner became verbally abusive and wasn’t treating him right because he was unemployed.   Anonymous says he now has job, and she’s back to treating him right again. Anonymous is thinking of continuing with the lobola process but he’s not sure if he should continue with the relationship with his partner because of how she’s treated him in the past.

Ask A Man 15 Nov '24: 'Have my wife and I ruined our relationship for good?'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 15 years and they’ve been married for 4 years.  Anonymous says his partner is quite fierce and stern and can be very independent within their relationship. Anonymous says one of the issues they are currently going through now is that he’s suspicious of her relationship with another man who’s even called her while they were at home together and caused a rift between them.  Anonymous says his wife is also very submissive when she’s speaking to this guy, but she’s hardly ever like that with him.  Anonymous is not sure what’s going on and doesn’t know if he should hold on to this relationship. 

Ask A Man 14 Nov '24: 'Worried I might return to my toxic ex.'

Anonymous says she was in toxic relationship for 3 years and says there was lots of infidelity amongst other things.  Anonymous says her partner made her very anxious with his antics and for the longest time she would leave him but then go back to him.  Anonymous says she has left him again now and it’s been more than a week of no contact with him but she’s struggling with moving forward and getting over him.  Anonymous is worried she might relapse and find herself going back to him again. Anonymous needs advice on how to let go of a toxic partner.

Ask A Man 13 Nov '24: 'Can we mend things after our separation?'

Anonymous says he’s been married to his wife since 2015 and they separated in 2019, but didn’t get divorced. Anonymous says during this time they had relationships with other people.  Anonymous says they got back together around August last year and they agreed to end things with the people they were seeing.  Anonymous says over the weeks he realised that a guy renting at one of their properties was his wife’s ex, from the time they were apart, he talked to her about this and they removed the guy as a tenant.  Anonymous says things seem to not have ended between his wife and this guy as the guy has even bought her an expensive gift. Anonymous is not sure if his wife is still romantically involved with this guy and how they can move forward from this.

Ask A Man 12 Nov '24: 'Second wife because I can't have children?'

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with her  partner for 4 years and earlier this year she had a miscarriage, following which, the doctor told anonymous that she won’t be able to bear children.  Anonymous says her partner started acting funny after this and months later she found out the guy had impregnated another lady to please his family and their cultural beliefs.  Anonymous says the family then told her that the pregnant lady will become the first wife, because she can bear children, and then anonymous can then become the second wife. Anonymous is wondering if she should stay in the relationship.

Ask A Man 11 Nov '24: 'I cheated on my current with my ex.'

Anonymous says months into his relationship with girl no.1, he realised that girl no.1 had been dating someone else when they met and this caused a rift in their relationship, even leading to him cheating on girl no.1.  Anonymous says they had a child which they thought would fix their relationship, but things didn’t workout and they broke up. Anonymous says 7 months after breaking up with girl no.1, he met girl no.2, but they broke up shortly after they started because of girl no.2’s relationship with the father of her child.  Anonymous says he and girl no.2 then reconnected and are still dating now, however, anonymous says he rekindled things with girl no.1 and they had sex twice and girl no.1 ended up telling girl no.2 about it.  This caused a problem between anonymous and girl no.2, his current partner. Anonymous says they haven’t really recovered from the infidelity and girl no.2 now wants to end things. Anonymous is not sure if he should fight for her to stay in the relationship.

Ask A Man 08 Nov '24: 'My boyfriend's other partner is back in town.'

Anonymous says she met a guy four years ago and says he had a partner when they started dating and they were in a long distance relationship.  Anonymous says their relationship has been great over the years but now the main partner is now back in the area which has affected anonymous’ relationship with this guy.  Anonymous says he’s not spending as much time with her as he used to and doesn’t know where she stands now that he’s no longer in a long distance relationship.  Anonymous says he still wants to be with her, however, she doesn’t know how to navigate this situation.

Ask A Man 07 Nov '24: 'My partner doesn't fight fair.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 8 years now and they have three kids together. Anonymous says her partner generally treats her well and things are generally ok.  Anonymous says the problem is when they have conflict in their relationship, she says he becomes verbally violent towards her and treats her terribly, including humiliating her publicly.  Anonymous says he also has a tendency to get upset at her when she’s out with friends, even accusing her of cheating, this with the backdrop of his own multiple infidelities. 

Ask A Man 06 Nov '24: 'Is my married boyfriend just not that into me?'

Anonymous says she met a guy at work during the pandemic and things were fine between them for about 6 months, but it changed when he became a bit distant towards her.  Anonymous says she then found out he had lied to her and was in fact  in a relationship with someone else who he had paid lobola for and also has a child with that person.  Anonymous says things faded from that point but the guy came back into anonymous’ life and explained that he wasn’t really with the other lady and was only with her because of the child they have together.  Anonymous says he keeps coming and going out of her life. She knows this behaviour is wrong but she loves him and doesn’t know how to get out of this. 

Ask A Man 05 Nov '24: 'My pregnant partner wants to move on with someone else.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 3 years and their relationship has been generally good.  Anonymous says six months ago his partner fell pregnant and as a result he ended up buying a home for them in order to solidify things between them.  Anonymous says recently his partner announced to him that she’s actually dating someone else and doesn’t want to be with anonymous anymore. She says the baby is anonymous’ baby but she wants to move on with someone else.  Anonymous says the other guy has now also called him and told him to leave his partner as it’s over between them.  Anonymous says he still loves her and doesn’t want to end things, he wants to find out what’s causing her to behave like this as he feels like their relationship was going well.

Ask A Man 04 Nov '24: 'My partner is terrible at communicating.'

Anonymous says her and her partner have been together for a year now and says at the beginning of their relationship her partner communicated frequently, but that changed a couple of months into the relationship.  Anonymous says he started not communicating as frequently as he used to and when anonymous confronted him about this he said he wasn’t losing interest, he’s just currently going through a lot. Anonymous says the communication has not improved and every time she brings it up he doesn’t really want to discuss the issue and tends to avoid this issue. Anonymous says there’s nothing indicating that he has someone else, so she’s not sure what to do.

Ask a Man 01 Nov '24: 'My partner is on and off'

Anonymous says she met a guy on a dating app early this year and says they hit things off immediately and proceeded to date.  Anonymous says things were fine for four months however anonymous says the guy suddenly switched up on her and eventually broke up with her saying she’s too much and she overwhelms him.  Anonymous says they broke up but a month later he just came back and wanted to be with her again without any real explanation of what went wrong.  Anonymous says they are now sort of back together but he’s not very present in their relationship.  Anonymous is not sure what is up with him

Ask A Man 31 Oct '24: 'He's supports me financially but not emotionally.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for about a year and a half now and says he’s still married but separated from his spouse.  Anonymous says things were fine and when she lost her job he started taking care of her, and pays for her rent and groceries. Anonymous says he’s now changed on her, he ignores texts and and doesn’t want to talk yo her most of the time.  Anonymous doesn’t know what to do as she relies on him financially.

Ask A Man 30 Oct '24: 'How to tell my partner about my HIV positive status.'

Anonymous says she’s been in her current relationship for 4 months now and it’s going well. Her problem is that she’s not sure how to go about sharing her HIV positive status with him.  Anonymous says in the past when she’s shared this detail about her self, the guy left her and that’s why she’s scared of disclosing this to her current guy as she feels like their relationship seems like it could get serious. She’s worried that he might end things with her as well.

Ask A Man 29 Oct '24: 'My side wants to get married.'

Anonymous says he’s been with the mother of his child for several years and they’ve been going through a rough patch which he says has led him to having a relationship with someone else on the side.  Anonymous says he’s been with his side girl for 4 months and things have gotten a bit awkward between them as his side now wants to take things to the next level and get married.  Anonymous says he’s worried about this and is not sure if he should marry her as it’s early in their relationship and he’s also worried about breaking things off with the mother of his child. Anonymous says he’s also worried that she might be a bit controlling and might have anger issues based on certain events that have happened in their short relationship.

Ask A Man 28 Oct '24: 'She's moving on with my kids.'

Anonymous say he’s been in a relationship for 6 years things were fine until 3 months ago.  Anonymous says when he met the lady she wasn’t in good condition and she was on drugs. Anonymous says he then helped her and cleaned her up and she got back on her feet and went back to school.  Anonymous says they had a child together and around that time he met the girl’s parents but they were not happy for him to be with her because he’s Zimbabwean and they are Mozambican.  Anonymous says they are expecting a second child together, but things changed when he realised that she was cheating on him, but her family reacted violently towards him and she has now moved on to being in a relationship with someone else with their kids. Anonymous says he misses his partner and their kids, and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 25 Oct '24: 'Can a side become a main?'

Anonymous says she’s started dating her current partner in 2012, they dated for a few years before breaking up.  Anonymous says 5 years went by and they started dating again and she thought he had changed but he hadn’t really as anonymous feels like he neglects her and doesn’t make time for her.  Anonymous says it’s disheartening because he makes time for everything and everyone else. Anonymous says she’s confused by his behaviour and doesn’t know what he wants because when she wants to leave he doesn’t want to let go of her.

Ask A Man 24 Oct '24: 'My partner wants me to have sex with her spirits.'

Anonymous says his relationship with his partner was generally fine in the four years they’ve been together until she went to initiation school in order to become a sangoma.  Anonymous says she’s back now and things aren’t the same when it comes to intimacy. Anonymous says his partner now requires more sex from him. Anonymous says they’ve gone from 3 rounds a night to about 9 rounds a night.  Anonymous says he can no longer keep up with this and it’s too much for him. Anonymous says he’s spoken to her about this but she told him that if they don’t do it the ancestors will be angry at him and he’ll have bad luck. Anonymous doesn’t know if he can stay in the relationship under these conditions, he’s tired and it’s affecting him at work.

Ask A Man 23 Oct '24: 'My step daughter is mean and it's affecting my marriage.'

Anonymous says she’s having problems with her step daughter, who’s her husband’s daughter, and doesn’t know what to do.  Anonymous says her step daughter has a bad attitude and is mean and rude towards her. Anonymous says her step daughter also goes around the neighbourhood lying to neighbours about her. Anonymous also adds that they have a 10 year age gap. Anonymous says she’s also confronted her husband about this but he doesn’t seem to be able to resolve the matter.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know what to do now as this situation is affecting her relationship with her husband, anonymous and her husband have two kids together. 

Ask A Man 22 Oct '24: 'My wife has been abusing me since I became disabled'

Anonymous says him and his partner have 2 kids together and their relationship was generally fine until he became wheel chair bound 6 months ago.  Anonymous says she changed on him and on one occasion she went out partying and he confronted her about that and it turned into a fight that turned abusive, anonymous says his partner beat him up, damaged his electrical wheel chair. Anonymous says he pressed charges against her for this and she was arrested. She now doesn’t live with anonymous and their kids anymore. Anonymous says she has now said to him that for them to get back together, and for her to fix his wheel chair and maintain their kids financially, he has to drop the charges.  Anonymous says he doesn't know what to do as he still loves her.

Ask A Man 21 Oct '24: 'What's the reason some men don't want a vasectomy?"

Anonymous says she’s been married for 18 years now and they have 3 kids with her husband and don’t want any more kids. Anonymous says after turning 40, she wants to get off the pill.  Anonymous says her and her partner have explored other birth control methods and the best one for them is for him to get a vasectomy but her partner is not keen and seems like he’s not interested in getting a vasectomy.  Anonymous says she doesn’t get why her husband  doesn’t want to get a vasectomy and wants a man’s perspective on whether she’s asking for too much.

Ask A Man 18 Oct '24: 'Was he only into me because he was broke?'

Anonymous says she has three kids and lost her partner  in 2021. Anonymous says she met a new guy while she was grieving and they started dating.  Anonymous says the guy was unemployed when they met and he moved in with her, and anonymous says she tried to help him get a job and he eventually got one last year.  Anonymous says the guy changed on her after getting employed and they were fighting a lot. Anonymous says he wasn’t communicating much with her but was busy chatting to other women on social media, something he’s been doing since they met. Anonymous says she’s never proven that things got physical with those women.  Anonymous says he’s emotionally unavailable, and he’s kinda on and off in their relationship.  Anonymous is wondering if his behaviour in the beginning was great because he was unemployed and whether she’s now forcing things.

Ask A Man 17 Oct '24: 'My partner has secret meetings with OUR friend.'

Anonymous says she feels like there’s a third person in their relationship. Anonymous says her and her partner have a mutual friend who is the person that introduced them to each other.  Anonymous says over the last year her and this third person drifted apart but she’s now realised that this friend and her partner have become closer. Anonymous says her partner now hides when he meets up with the friend and they even go on dates without her, which is something they used to do together.  Anonymous says there’s also been incidences where her partner comments on how good the friend is looking. Anonymous says she doesn’t get the sense that her partner is cheating on her with their friend and wonders if she’s just insecure and unreasonable about their relationship. Anonymous says she’s not sure what to do about this situation.

Ask A Man 16 Oct '24: 'Why is my love life messy?'

Anonymous says back in 2021 he was in a relationship and ready to get engaged to guy no.1, however around that time he met someone else, guy no.2,  in a club and they had a one night stand.  Anonymous says two weeks after the incident, he ghosted guy no.2 as he was confused and he continued with his engagement. Anonymous says a few weeks went by and he reached out to guy no.2 again and they eventually met, and during this meet up guy no.2 opened up about his HIV positive status and anonymous says that wasn’t a problem for him. Anonymous says he ended his engagement with guy no.1 and continued with a relationship with guy no.2, however things got rocky between them and anonymous found himself back on a hook up app which caused problems in their relationship. Anonymous says guy no.2 also had financial issues and that, and his own infidelity led to their break up in September last year.  Anonymous says they were not speaking for a while however reconnected, became friends and they even car pooled together in anonymous car to go to work and gym. Anonymous says he then started dating someone else and guy no.2 became jealous of the relationship and eventually anonymous says guy no.2 ghosted him after meeting another guy.  Anonymous says guy no.2 then returned and even seduced him despite the fact that they are now friends and have partners. Anonymous doesn’t understand why he’s still in this messy situation with guy no.2.

Ask A Man 15 Oct '24: 'I'm living at my controlling partner's place.'

Anonymous says he’s known his partner for 3 years and things were mostly fine until he faced some financial struggles.  Anonymous says he moved to another country overseas for work purposes, but when things didn’t workout, he made his way back to the country but had nowhere to stay. His things were at his partner’s home, and so the partner took him in to live with her.  Anonymous says in the time that he’s lived with her, she’s become controlling and doesn’t seem to have any regard for him or anything he has to say. Anonymous says he’s not surprised by this behaviour as she was a bit offish when it comes to communication while he was overseas.  Anonymous says he’s not sure if she should continue to stay with her.

Ask A Man 14 Oct '24: 'My partner wants to be with me but is also in love with his side chick'

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with the father of her child for 7 years and things were ok until earlier this year when she realised he was cheating on her.  Anonymous says when she confronted him about it he confessed that he was cheating and was in love with the other lady and he intended to keep seeing the other lady. Anonymous stuck around but eventually moved out of their place because of his affair.  Anonymous says they are now sort of back together and he’s treating her amazingly and their relationship is good, however, her partner still says he still wants to be with the other lady as well.