ASK A MAN 30 JUNE 2025

ASK A MAN 27 JUNE 2025

Ask a Man 26 Jun '25: 'My partner still owns a house with her ex.'

Anonymous has been with his partner for almost two years now and they now live together with her two children.  His partner was in the middle of lobola proceedings when she broke up with the father of her children and they had gotten a joint-mortgage for the house they lived in. Anonymous wants to marry his partner but he’s worried that his partner is still jointly linked to a major asset with her ex.  He wants her to give up on the house so that they can move on with their relationship on a clean slate.

Ask a Man 25 June '25: 'He's only available during office hours.'

Anonymous met a man on a dating site about three weeks ago, and she’s enjoying getting to know him but he seems to only be available to her during office hours.  She confronted him about this behaviour and he said it’s because he’s struggled with insomnia in the past and is often off his phone in the evenings to remedy this. He also added that he’s been single for a long time and is readjusting to dating.  His communication, after hours, hasn’t improved, and anonymous is not sure what to read into this.

Aska Man 24 June '25: 'Should I go or just accept my partner's side girl.'

Anonymous has been with her partner for almost six years, they’ve been married for two of those years and they have a ten month old child.  Their relationship is generally great, but the problem is a friend that her partner has, as she’s seen videos of them being cozy together and they’ve even exchanged messages declaring their love for each other.  They’ve been fighting about this same girl for most of their relationship, however, she’s not sure if she should give up on what she’s built with him because of the relationship he has with this one girl.

Ask a Man 23 June '25: 'Why is my partner blocking ladies from seeing his social media status?'

Anonymous and her partner have been together for three years. He already had two children before they started dating and they have  since had a child together who is now 10 months old.  They are in a long distance relationship and last week, when he came to visit her for her birthday, he was trying to post pictures of her on his WhatsApp stories when she noticed that he blocked 3 ladies from seeing his stories.  She questioned him about this and he said it was people from work that he blocked from seeing his stories. Anonymous still finds this suspicious and wonders if he could be busy with other people.

Ask a Man 20 June '25: 'She forgave me but she's now cheating on me.'

Anonymous has been with his partner, on and off, for about a year and a half now. They broke up twice in their relationship mostly because he used to go out a lot and also cheated on her.  They are now back together but he suspects that she might be in a relationship with the guy she was having a thing with before they got back together.  He doesn’t have any concrete evidence of this but says she tends to be evasive about her whereabouts and has done some things that make anonymous question her commitment.

Ask a Man 19 June '25: 'I'm not sure if my partner is happy dating a woman only.'

Anonymous met a lady at the gym in the latter part of last year, the lady had a boyfriend, but they ended up having an affair.  Things got more serious between them as they were spending a lot of time together and she told this lady that she’d like to make things official between them which caused a rift between them because this lady was struggling to break up with her boyfriend.  The lady then told anonymous that she’s broken up with her boyfriend, and they continued with their relationship, however, it turned out that this lady was actually still having a thing with her boyfriend.  They fought about this but kissed and made up…

Ask a Man 18 June '25: 'I'm having an affair with my ex's new girlfriend.

Anonymous is in her late twenties and is a mother of an 18 month old baby. She was with the father of her child for about three years but the relationship was toxic and after she gave birth she broke up with her partner and moved out of his family home.  Months after the break up she went back to the house to fetch her things, and this is when she met her ex’s new girlfriend. The new girlfriend then offered to support her child.  They continued to chill and the new girlfriend then kissed anonymous and they ended up having sex.  She’s now confused by her relationship with the new girlfriend, who’s supporting her child, however she’s worried about their relationship being transactional.

Ask a Man 17 June '25: 'My partner feels suffocated by our commitment.'

Anonymous and her partner have been together for two years now and during that they moved in together and built a house together.  A couple of months after they bought the house, her partner started behaving differently, going out more and having fun with friends. Anonymous addressed his changed behaviour, he agreed to spend more time at home but it’s been going on for months now.  Her partner disappeared over the long weekend which caused a rift between them once again. Her partner has now told her that he still wants to have fun and doesn’t want to live like an old married couple.  Anonymous is not sure how to interpret this.

Ask a Man 13 June '25: 'My partner is not improving sexually.'

Anonymous has been with her partner since 2017 and they got married in 2019, she adds that he was a virgin when they met in their late twenties.  Her problem is in the bedroom as he struggles to pleasure her and when she tries to find out what he likes, he’s not sure.  Anonymous has tried many different things to get them on the same page sexually, but their sex life has not been improving.

Ask a Man 12 June '25: 'Caught between a toxic relationship and two married men.'

Anonymous has been with her partner, guy no.1, for about 4 years now and things were fine until he lost his job and it created a burden on their relationship.  She started noticing things about his treatment of her, realising that he often body shames her and is always speaking down to her.  She has now started dating other people: guy no.2, who’s married and has said he doesn’t mind marrying anonymous as a second wife, and guy no.3, who she’s also having a good time with currently but is not sure if it’s just vibes or something more serious.

Ask a Man 11 June '25: 'Why do we struggle to communicate in the right tone?'

Anonymous and her fiancé have been in a relationship for over a decade now and live together with two of their children, including her child, from a previous relationship, and a child they have together. Her fiancé also had a child with someone else while they already in a relationship.  Her problem is how her partner sometimes speaks to her, she feels that he can be very insensitive & harsh towards her. They have also cheated on each other in the past and that keeps coming up in their arguments.  Anonymous her partner basically struggle when it comes to communication.

Ask a Man 10 June '25: 'Did I end break-up with my cheating ex prematurely?'

Anonymous broke up with his partner a few months ago, after five years together, because she cheated on him with a guy she had a history with.  He feels as though things became problematic in their relationship after he lost his job and couldn’t provide for them anymore.  Some time has gone by since the break-up and he’s wondering if he let go of the relationship too easily, he doesn’t want to rekindle the relationship, but he lost so much of himself in it and he is struggling to move forward.

Ask a Man 09 June '25: 'Struggling with accepting my cheating partner's other child'

Anonymous broke up with the father of her child 5 years ago after he cheated on her and impregnated another woman.  He didn’t support their child after their break-up, and only started doing so after their child turned three. He’s now back in their lives and wants to get back together with anonymous after the lady he cheated on her with cheated on him.  Anonymous is open to officially getting back together with him but her biggest struggle with this is accepting the child he had with the other woman, and that woman’s accessibility to him as the mother of his other child.

Ask a Man 06 June '25: 'Does my partner still have a thing with his ex?'

Anonymous met her partner in January this year and says their relationship has been great, he ticks all the boxes and she feels quite comfortable being herself around him.  This past weekend while they were at gathering with friends, she caught him on a video call with another lady who was complaining that he doesn’t make time for her anymore.  Anonymous’ partner says it’s someone he dated before who’s struggling to let him go, their relationship faded but they are still in communication.

Ask a Man 05 June '25: 'Has the distance killed my relationship?'

Anonymous has been with his partner for the last 6 years, a year ago she moved overseas for a new job and to further her studies.  He says communication between them was great at the start of her period away, but over the last six months the communication has not been as regular as it used to be, mostly because she keeps claiming that she’s too tired to chat.  She’ll be coming back soon, but anonymous is worried that she might come back a changed woman, as she’ll also be earning way more than him. He’s anticipating the worst and doesn’t know what to do. 

Ask a Man 04 June '25: 'Can I become serious with a much younger man?'

Anonymous is in her early 40s and is a mother of three.  She’s in the dating market and says she tends to attract much younger men, and thinks it’s because of her younger looking appearance.  The younger men sexually fulfil her more than the older men that she’s dated, and while this is great for her sexual appetite, she wants to get into a more serious relationship and feels like the younger guys are more about fun and not building a solid relationship.  Anonymous also wants to be with someone her teenage children can respect.

Ask a Man 03 June '25: 'My partner didn't help me financially but he's now reliant on me.'

Anonymous and her husband met in 2016 and got married in 2022.  She stopped working at some point and started her own business. A couple of years later her partner, who’s much older, was retrenched due to the Covid pandemic, she suggested different things for him to try including helping in the business, but he hasn’t done much since.  Her husband got a large payout after he lost his job and when anonymous requested that he invest in her business he didn’t. He has now run out of money leaving her as the sole provider for their home.  Anonymous is frustrated by his behaviour and feels like he hasn’t been a supportive partner.  

Ask a Man 02 June '25: 'Is my husband cheating on me with his female friend?'

Anonymous has been married to her partner for about 10 years now and they have two children together.  She travels often in her job and back in 2018 ,when she got back from a work trip, she noticed suspicious messages on her partner’s phone with another woman, but she didn’t want to read too much into it and ignored this.  This behaviour continued and upon her return from another work trip, the female friend texted and asked her husband to greet her mother-in-law, and on one occasion when anonymous fell pregnant the friend texted anonymous’ husband saying the pregnancy is a mistake.  She has confronted her husband about this but he keeps telling her that they are just friends.

Ask a Man 30 May '25: 'Paternity questions.'

Anonymous started dating his partner back in 2017 after they’d known each other for a few years.  They have a child together with his partner, however, he doubts that he’s the father of this child. The situation is a bit familiar for anonymous as he has his suspicions that his parents might not be his biological family.  This background has made it difficult for anonymous to deal with the questions he has around the paternity of the child he knows as his son.

Ask a Man 29 May '25: 'Is my new partner too good to be true?'

Anonymous is in her early 40s and she was married for 18 years before separating from her husband three years ago. She says came out of the marriage with very little and has spent the last few years rebuilding her life.  She met a man who’s in his late twenties within the last year and months after they started dating he proposed and they are now engaged.  They have been together for a year now and their relationship is going strong but she keeps feeling like it’s too good to be true.  Anonymous adds that her partner knows about her one child but she hasn’t told him about her other son as that son is only 4 years younger than his partner. 

Ask a Man 28 May '25: 'I'm over living with my girlfriend's family.'

Anonymous met his partner seven years ago and says they moved in together at his partner’s family home, on her request, as he used to live at his work quarters when they met.  He was initially ok with this living arrangement, however, over time he’s felt emasculated by this situation, with people in the community referring to him as “makoti”.  He has spoken to his partner about moving out from her family home and renting somewhere else, but she’s completely against it.  Anonymous also feels bullied in his relationship and adds that his partner doesn’t seem to respect him.

Ask a Man 27 May '25: 'How do I fight for custody without damaging our relationship.'

Anonymous started dating the mother of his child about four years ago and says things were great until he lost his job and was in the process of starting a new business.  He cheated on her in the midst of all of this, she forgave him and said they should move as she felt he cheated because of the area in which he lived. She helped him grow his business and he says things got busy in that business and he neglected her to a point that she broke up with him.  She’s currently not allowing anonymous access to their child, he doesn’t want to go the legal route as he feels that could add to the animosity between them & he feels like he owes her a lot for helping him.

Ask a Man 26 May '25: 'I prefer my husband more as a friend.'

Anonymous met her current partner back in 2014 and their relationship was completely platonic in the beginning but they eventually started dating and now they are married.  Her problem is that their relationship is not great as a couple because he just doesn’t meet the standards of what she wants in a partner.  Anonymous feels like he’s a better friend than partner to her, she wants to break it off without ending their friendship.

Ask a Man 23 May '25: 'He's great but has erectile dysfunction.'

Anonymous dated a man ten years ago and he was a great partner but things didn’t workout because he was struggling to get it up in the bedroom and he was an over drinker.  It’s been about eight years now and the man has returned into her life and she has decided to give him another chance. Things are going well so far however the problems in the bedroom remain.  They haven’t had a conversation regarding his erection issues, and he has now shared with anonymous that he is HIV positive.

Ask a Man 22 May '25: 'My partner is struggling to forgive me.'

Ask a Man 21 May '25: 'Why can't I seem to keep a relationship?'

Anonymous says he was in a long term relationship which ended about 3 years ago, he says they tried to make their relationship work a couple of times but it didn’t work out.  Anonymous says he has since been in two other relationships and one of those partners ended things with him saying he isn’t man enough, while the second most recent relationship ended because the partner said he doesn’t have enough money.  Anonymous says he feels like he keeps trying in relationships but wonders why he hasn’t had much luck so far. He adds that he’d like to start building a family.

Ask a Man 20 May '25: 'I think my man hates me.'

Anonymous has been with her partner for 11 years, she came into the relationship with one child and they have two children together. Her partner has paid half the lobola.  Anonymous says there’s a lot of negativity happening in their relationship and in a recent incident her partner did not come back home as he was upset with her for “blue-ticking” him.  Anonymous says she was shocked by his reasoning for disappearing and they fought about this, which led to her partner throwing her phone in the toilet and anonymous taking his phone and hiding it.  Anonymous says she went through his phone and found messages between her partner and his sister, in which anonymous says her partner was saying nasty things about her. 

Ask a Man 19 May '25: 'Worried about my partner's sexuality.'

Anonymous says it was love at first sight when he met his partner three months ago. Anonymous says he’s met her family and adds that she’s great with his daughter as well.  Anonymous says when they met, she revealed to him that she had just come out of a 7-year lesbian relationship. Anonymous says she has also told him that she’d like to have a threesome with anonymous and another woman, something anonymous says he’s not interested in doing. Anonymous says they are now in talks to start with lobola proceedings, however, anonymous says his partner is still friends with her female ex. Anonymous’ partner says he has nothing to worry about as they are just friends. Anonymous is taken aback by this because his partner might still be into her ex. 

Ask a Man 16 May '25: 'Is my partner having an affair with his colleague?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since 2016 and they had a child after a year of being together. Anonymous says they only started living together recently.  Anonymous says things have gotten tense in their relationship because he started getting what anonymous thinks were suspicious messages from a colleague and when he confronted him about those texts, he claimed they were business related.  Anonymous says things are now tense as her partner is denying the cheating. Anonymous is not sure if she’s the one blowing things out proportion.

Ask a Man 15 May '25: 'My partner took the lobola money.'

Anonymous says he’s been dating the mother of his child for 10 years now and he’s looking to get married to her, but he’s not quite sure based on her behaviour.  Anonymous says they fight a lot and says she keeps bringing up past fights. Anonymous says he wanted to start the lobola process last year but she said to him that she’s not ready to get married and instead kept the money that was meant for her lobola.  Anonymous says when he asks about this money she gets upset so he feels like he can’t bring up anymore.

Ask a Man 14 May '25: 'How do I let go of my wife's cheating after I cheated on her?'

Anonymous says he’s been with his wife for 14 years and they have two children together. Anonymous says their relationship was fine until he cheated on his wife on two separate occasions. Anonymous says she forgave him both times and they were able to move on.  Anonymous says time went by and then his wife started cheating on him. Anonymous says he was able to move on with the relationship after finding out about his wife’s cheating. Anonymous says even though they are still together, he’s struggling to forget about about his wife’s cheating and says he can’t see her in the same way anymore.  Anonymous says another issue is that his wife has become quite flashy, and says this started around the second time he cheated on her and at the time he was making more money.

Ask a Man 13 May '25: '

Ask a Man 12 May '25: 'How should I break-up with the toxic mother of my child.'

Anonymous says he’s currently dating two ladies, he’s known lady no.1 since 2014 and they have a child together. Anonymous says their relationship was fine until 2019 when she started drinking a lot and it was causing problems in their relationship.  Anonymous says he met another lady, lady no.2, in 2023 and they’ve been together since, even though he’s still with the mother of his child. Anonymous says when he met lady no.2 she was still married to someone else but got divorced and anonymous say his affair with lady no.2 was stated as the reason for lady no.2’s divorce.

Ask a Man 09 May '25: '

Ask a Man 08 May '25: 'Should I tell my partner he might not be the father?.

Anonymous says she’s in her late twenties and she’s been in a relationship with her partner for about four years but it’s been messy because her partner cheated on her a few times and she forgave him.  Anonymous says she then met another guy while in a relationship with her partner and decided to have an affair with this guy, in retaliation to her partner’s infidelities.  Anonymous says she’s now pregnant but she’s not sure who the father of the child is. Anonymous says her side piece is aware that it’s possible that he’s not the father but her partner has no idea and he’s just happy to build a family with her.  Anonymous is not sure how to move forward.

Ask a Man 07 May '25: 'Can I trust my ex again.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend since 2020 and they have two year-old child together.  Anonymous says at some point he lost his job and this when his partner’s behaviour changed. Anonymous says one of the problems he’s found is that his girlfriend has been having relations with other guys while they’ve been together.  Anonymous says he’s now working again and he’s even thinking of marrying his girlfriend but he’s struggling to trust her and is not sure if she can be the right wife for him. 

Ask a Man 06 May '25: 'My partner is always on and off.'

Anonymous says he’s been in an on and off situation with his partner for a while now. Anonymous says she cheated on him early on in their relationship but he ended up forgiving her and even considered getting married to her.  Anonymous says they then ran into some trouble when they tried to conceive a child and even lost a baby, but anonymous says during that grieving period he found out that she cheated on him with the same guy again. Anonymous says they eventually broke up.  Anonymous says despite them breaking things off he’s struggling to let it go and she keeps coming back into his life. Anonymous says she’s to always come back into his life when he’s busy with someone else, but then disappears when he starts giving her attention again.

Ask a Man 05 May '25: 'Should I support my ex wife's child.'

Anonymous says when he met his current wife 9 years ago, she had a 1 year-old child. Anonymous says since then he has raised this child as his own.  Anonymous says they are currently separated after he found out that his wife was flirting with a colleague. Anonymous says they are now officially separated however he feels like he shouldn’t be the one to financially support the child as he’s no longer in a relationship with the mother.  Anonymous says they do have one other child together, and he’s only willing to support this child, as the other child has their own father and his estranged wife now has another partner. Anonymous is wondering if he’s taking the right approach to the situation.

Ask a Man 02 May '25: 'Will we never heal from the infidelity in our relationship?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years, and her current relationship overlapped with her previous relationship.  Anonymous says early in their relationship her partner found out that she was still dating her ex partner. Anonymous says they fought about this and she finally broke up with her ex. Anonymous says their relationship continued but her partner also cheated on her, and said she did it because she struggled to get over the fact that anonymous had cheated.  Anonymous says her partner has struggled to get over the initial cheating and they keep fighting about it. Anonymous says her partner broke up with her yesterday and she’s not sure if she should fight for her. 

Ask a Man 30 April '25: 'My daughter is bewitching my current wife.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they have a 14-year age gap between them.  Anonymous says they’ve been speaking about their future and it looks like they could get married but her partner already has 3 children from his previous 3 relationships and he doesn’t seem keen to have more children.  Anonymous says she wants to be with him and build a future with him, but feels like even if he were to have a child with her, he would be doing it reluctantly.

Ask a Man 29 April '25: 'My partner is not keen to have more children with me.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they have a 14-year age gap between them.  Anonymous says they’ve been speaking about their future and it looks like they could get married but her partner already has 3 children from his previous 3 relationships and he doesn’t seem keen to have more children.  Anonymous says she wants to be with him and build a future with him, but feels like even if he were to have a child with her, he would be doing it reluctantly.

Ask a Man 25 April '25: 'Will my partner break up with his other girlfriend?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for about 3 years and says when they started dating he didn’t tell her that he was in a relationship with someone else. Anonymous says after she got suspicious, he confessed to her that he does have another partnerback home, where he comes from.  Anonymous says she’s known about the other girl for about a year now and says despite their relationship being great, she’s not comfortable with him having another partner.  Anonymous says he has said that he plans to leave the other woman, but it still hasn’t happened.

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Ask a Man 17 April '25: 'My partner's best friend wants to expose our affair.'

Anonymous says he’s been dating a lady, who’s married to someone else, for about 5 years now. Anonymous says when he told her about his dreams to open his own business, she volunteered to raise the funds for him for the business.  Anonymous says they got the funding but he didn’t want  to have the business registered in both their names as he was scared of what could happen if the lady’s husband found out about their affair. Anonymous says they decided to register the business under his name and this lady’s best friend’s name.  Anonymous says time went by and the lady is now looking to divorce her husband, the problem is now the lady’s best friend…

Ask a Man 16 April '25: 'My partner is back, but I've met someone else.'

Anonymous says after being single for two years, he met a guy in September last year, and two weeks into their relationship, the guy told him that he had a spiritual calling and would be going to initiation for about 6 months.  Anonymous says the guy wasn’t allowed to have visitors while at initiation but they kept in contact by calling each other. Anonymous says the guy was then not allowed to take calls and this affected their relationship, leaving anonymous feeling lonely.  Anonymous says during this time he met someone else, guy no.2,  and they instantly fell in love. Anonymous says he’s in a relationship with guy no.2.

Ask a Man 15 April ‘25: ‘Constant fights with my partner led me to cheat.’

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for about two years now. They never moved in together but would stay at each other’s places for extended periods. Anonymous says his partner got into the habit of leaving his place and staying at her own place every time they fight. Anonymous says during one of the times his partner moved out he started entertaining another lady who he says became a confidant to him, anonymous says he eventually slept wit this lady and when he didn’t continue the relationship with this lady, she shared screen shots of their chats with anonymous’ partner. Anonymous says his partner is obviously upset about the chats that she’s seen and they are currently fighting about this. Anonymous says he loves his partner and he’s not sure on how to go about repairing their relationship.

Ask a Man 14 April '25: 'My partner is financially irresponsible.'

Anonymous says she’s known her husband for 8 years and they’ve been married for 6 of those years. Anonymous says her relationship with her partner is toxic and says the biggest issue is finances.  Anonymous says she earns more than her partner and says he also doesn’t contribute much to their household finances. Anonymous says she feels like she has been financially and verbally abusive towards her partner, calling him useless for not taking care their family.  Anonymous says it’s not that he earns less, it’s that he doesn’t spend much money on their family, and has instead accumulated a lot of debt.  Anonymous says she feels like she needs to end the relationship but her heart won’t let go and she can’t financially afford to leave the relationship right now.

Ask a Man 11 April '25: 'My partner found nudes of my and I on my phone.'

Anonymous says her partner recently went through her phone and found nude pictures of her with her ex on her phone.  Anonymous says her partner was upset after finding the pictures, which were recently sent by her ex. Anonymous says her partner also saw a message where she suggested to her ex that they have a threesome.  Anonymous says they went to therapy to try and resolve this issue, however, in a recent incident, her partner tried to call her but he got upset when he couldn’t reach anonymous because he just imagined that anonymous was busy with the ex.  Anonymous says her partner has been deeply affected by this and seems to be pulling away from her. Anonymous says she’s serious about him and doesn’t know how they can move forward from this. 

Ask a Man 9 April '25: 'My partner has been great but i've just found out she's married.'

Anonymous says he has been dating his partner for about 3 years now and says she has been very supportive of him from the time they started dating as he had just graduated.  Anonymous says he got into the e-hailing business and when he decided to start driving his own car, she helped him get the car and they agreed that he would pay her back for the car and they would change the ownership of the car to his name later.  Anonymous says he has since got two more cars on his own but when he tried to change the ownership of the first car from his partner’s name to his own name, she was avoiding doing this, which led to him checking the details of the car, and that’s when he found out that the car is owned by his partner’s husband, and he had no idea that she was even married.  Anonymous is worried about the car situation but he’s also not comfortable with continuing the relationship with his partner knowing that she’s married.

Ask a Man 10 April '25: 'Obsessed with my toxic partner.'

Anonymous says he met a guy last year and they’ve been dating since then. Anonymous says everything was fine until the guy started acting strange.   Anonymous says they once had a conflict & as they were in middle of the fight his partner decided he was leaving, and some other guy came to pick up his partner and they left anonymous at his place.  Anonymous says he tracked his partner on his phone and noticed that his partner went to the other guy’s place. Anonymous also says he found pictures of his partner with that guy looking cozy on the beach.  Anonymous says they met up days later and he confronted his partner about this. Anonymous says his partner was ignoring him, focusing on his phone and this led to them getting into a physical fight.  Anonymous says his partner pressed assault charges against him and he ended up in jail for weeks, before his partner dropped the charges.  Anonymous says his partner reached out to him and they’ve rekindled their relationship. Anonymous says it seems his partner is still hooking up with other people, but despite this he is struggling to let him go. 

Ask a Man 08 April '25: 'He doesn't like when I bring up his cheating.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years but says they’ve had an issue with infidelity in their relationship since the very beginning. Anonymous says she’s always finding texts on his phone of him chatting with other girls and flirting with them. She says she’s confronted him about this several times, but it keeps happening.  Anonymous says in the middle of all of this he doesn’t want her to chat with other guys. Anonymous says there’s also a particular girl who he can’t seem to let go of.  Anonymous says he is now accusing her of bringing up the past every time she brings up what he did with those other girls.

Ask a Man 07 April '25: 'Caught between a scammer & a ghoster'

Anonymous says she met a guy no.1 in January and things quickly sparked between them, and the guy moved into her place soon after they started dating.  Anonymous says the guy lies a lot, for starters, he lied about his age, saying he’s in his early thirties but it turned out he’s actually in his early twenties. Anonymous says though he seemed to have a proper job she’s also realised that he might be scamming people on social media.  Anonymous says guy no.2 is someone she was with before guy no.1, she says he’s trying to get back into her life even though he had ghosted her when they dated previously. Anonymous says guy no.2 has seemingly changed and there could be a chance to rekindle things with him.

Ask a Man 04 April '25: 'Why is he still following his ex?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years, they live together, their families know about each other, and their relationship is moving in the marriage direction.  Anonymous says she recently had a dream that there is something funny happening in their relationship, after this, anonymous says she looked through his phone and found that he’s still following his ex on Tik Tok and has liked all 11 of her posts.  Anonymous says they already had a fight about him following his ex on social media and she thought this was resolved. Anonymous says she’s now confused on how to feel about this.

Ask a Man 03 April '25: 'I want to marry her but her family is a problem.'

Anonymous says he met his current partner 8 years ago, after being single for 3 years. Anonymous says they started dating soon after meeting.  Anonymous says his partner came into their relationship with two children and they have since had four more children together, she is currently pregnant with twins.  Anonymous says that the problem in their relationship seems to be his partner’s family as they tend to meddle into their relationship. Anonymous says currently he’s trying to get married to his partner but there are some wranglings regarding the lobola amount anonymous must pay…

Ask A Man 02 April '25: He's not ready to be a family man.'

Anonymous says she’s a mother of two and she broke up with the father of her children back in 2015. Anonymous says she met another guy shortly after this but the relationship failed because she didn’t want the guy to meet her kids as they were young.  Anonymous says she waited for her kids to grow before dating again and she’s now in a relationship with someone who she has introduced to her kids and they’ve been together for a while now, but anonymous says she feels like he’s closed off and doesn’t share his true feelings. Anonymous says she feels like he’s not emotionally mature enough to be a family man, as he also has a terrible relationship with his own family.  Anonymous says even though he’d like to have a child with her, she’s also realised that he’s lacking when it comes to having paternal instincts.

Ask A Man 1 Apr '25: 'Did I push him to cheat on me?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for a year and after he lost his job last November, the partner moved back to his home town.  Anonymous says after their relationship became long distant, they began to struggle with communication and anonymous says she ended up pushing him away, as she was hiding somethings from him.  Anonymous says this caused a rift between them and he ended having a relationship with someone else and impregnating that person. Anonymous says the guy has told her that he does love the girl he’s impregnated, adding that he’d like to date both anonymous and the other girl.  Anonymous doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 31 Mar '25: 'My children miss their home, should I get back together with him?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her husband for 17 years since they were in high school and they’ve been married for about 8 years.  Anonymous says post high school she studied further, got her qualifications and has been financially stable since then, on the other hand she says her husband lacks ambition and hasn’t worked much this whole time that they’ve been together, which means she’s been supporting their household, which now includes two children as well.  Anonymous says she eventually broke things off with him as things got toxic in their home but eventually got back together with him. Anonymous says their relationship never really got better and describes her husband as being emotionally and financially abusive…

Ask a Man 28 Mar '25: 'Why can't I get over my side?'

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with her partner for 3 years and says their relationship couldn’t be better, however, anonymous says she started cheating on her partner, with someone who lives on the same street as her mother.  Anonymous says she then found out that her side piece was cheating on her and they broke things off. Anonymous says even though things are great with her partner, she finds herself hurt by what happened with her side piece and she’s struggling to let her go.  Anonymous says she is really happy with her partner and doesn’t want to leave her.

Ask a Man 27 Mar '25: 'Caught between choosing my friend or his ex.'

Anonymous says his friend broke up with his partner 2 months ago, after the break up, anonymous says he started chatting with his partner’s ex and they hit things off.  Anonymous says things quickly got serious between him and his friend’s ex and that’s when he decided to tell his friend that he’d like to his ex. Anonymous says his friend told him he doesn’t approve of this relationship and their friendship would be over if anonymous continued to date his ex.  Anonymous says they have slept with each other’s flings in the past, so he thought his friend would be ok with this.  Anonymous says he’s not sure who to choose, as he’s in love with his friend’s ex but also finds some value in his friendship, as they are a part of a group of friends.

Ask a Man 26 Mar '25: 'Things changed after I moved close to him.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they’ve known each other for about 10 years altogether.  Anonymous says they were initially in a long-distance relationship and things were great but his behaviour changed when she moved to the same area as him.  Anonymous says she feels like even though she’s goegraphically closer now, he doesn’t pay much attention to her, shows little support and hardly initiates conversations with her.  Anonymous says they don’t even talk much now and she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask a Man 25 Mar '25: 'How to tell my partner I impregnated my side.'

Ask a Man 24 Mar '24: 'My partner says I'm using him for money.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years and everything was fine between them from the on set but things changed after she became pregnant.  Anonymous says after finding out about the pregnancy they moved in together but his character changed and they started fighting a lot, to a point that he moved out of their place.  Anonymous says most recently he asked him for money to do a pregnancy scan but this turned into a fight and her partner accused her of using him for his money, saying anonymous doesn’t even care about his kids.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know where that is coming from as she’s never relied on him financially and in fact he was unemployed when they started dating.

Ask a Man 20 March '25: 'In love with someone I've never met.'

Anonymous says mid last year she found a lady on social media who she liked but only DM’d her earlier this in January and confessed her feelings.  Anonymous says it turned out the lady also liked her and so they started dating online, as they’ve never met. Anonymous says their relationship was going well until Anonymous wasn’t in a good mood one day and took those emotions out on the lady.  Anonymous says things weren’t the same since that day, and the lady eventually broke things off with her. Anonymous doesn’t know what to do as she loves this lady a lot!

Ask a Man - 19 March '25: 'My partner is too controlling.'

Anonymous says she met guy no.1 last year at her new church after moving to a new province. Anonymous says they started dating shortly after their first interaction.  Anonymous says things were good between them until she went back home to visit and says when she came back to her new area she realised that his energy had changed, and upon searching on his phone, she found that he was still chatting to and spending time with  other girls.  Anonymous confronted him about this and he explained that he did already have thing with one of the girls while they started with their thing…

Ask A Man 18 March '25: 'My partner is in love with me but I'm not sure.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her current partner for 5 years and says he’s a great partner and takes care of her, and he’s even paid lobola for her.  Anonymous says her problem is she feels a void in her relationship, and says there’s no spark and passion, it’s just boring. Anonymous says she likes him but doesn’t think he’s the one.  Anonymous says one of the issues in their relationship is that they don’t have a good communication.  Anonymous is not sure if she should fight for the relationship or just break up with him.

Ask a Man 17 Mar '25: 'All men cheat.'

Anonymous says she met her current husband when they were in high school, but they couldn’t really be together at the time. Anonymous says over the years they’d meet up and hook up, but never really became official.  Anonymous says they went their separate ways at some point and during that time she  had a baby with someone else. Anonymous says they eventually got together and they got married.  Anonymous says her partner used to cheat on her a lot with different people, and says she initially brushed it off as something men do, but as time went by it became too much for her, and she separated from her husband. Anonymous says he’s been asking her to forgive him for a while now, and she’s not sure if she should get back together with him.

Ask a Man 14 March '25: 'My partner is in love with her ex.'

Anonymous says he met a lady in 2023 and their relationship was soaring until the father of her child, who wasn’t present when anonymous met the lady, came back into the picture last December. Anonymous says the lady started communicating more with the father of her child at that point. Anonymous says the lady then attend a family funeral after the the father of her child’s brother past away. This led to the lady rekindling things with the father of her child and she essentially got back together with him.

Ask a Man 13 March '25: 'I had a baby with my partner's friend.'

Anonymous says he and his girlfriend started dating in 2018 and he says he was clear from the onset that he wants to have a child, she was ok with that only if they got married first, something anonymous says he wasn’t ready for.  Anonymous says years later he started having an affair with one of his partner’s friends and that went on secretly for a while. Anonymous says he brought up having a child again, and again his girlfriend said no and told him he could go outside and impregnate someone else.  Anonymous says after the fight with his girlfriend, he slept with the friend without protection and she fell pregnant with his child.  Anonymous says he confessed this to his partner and after meeting with her family they ended up breaking things off, but anonymous has now managed to patch things up with his girlfriend who says she’ll only get back together with him on one condition…

Ask a Man 12 March '25: 'Is he only with me because he needs my support?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 6 years, they have a child together and she came into their relationship with another child. Anonymous her partner is terrible with money and doesn’t include her in his financial decisions when he has money.  Anonymous says before he lost his job and didn’t have money, he would go out partying with friends and would cheat on her, but come back crying for forgiveness.  Anonymous says he’s now unemployed and broke and his behaviour has changed, he’s a better partner, shows her love and things are generally good.  Anonymous is worried that once he’s back on his feet, he’ll go back to his old ways and she’s no sure if she should leave him even though things are great right now.

Ask a Man 11 March '25: 'He said we couldn't be together because of his religion'

Anonymous says she met a guy while working at a religious organisation years ago and something developed between them but before anything could happen the guy told anonymous that they couldn’t be together due to his position in the organisation.  Anonymous says the guy married someone else about a year later after he told her they couldn’t be. By the time he got married, anonymous had already moved to another province because of work.  Anonymous says she also got married, and after some time the guy contacted anonymous and told her that he missed her and was sorry for everything that happened.  Anonymous says he told her that he was willing to divorce his wife for her but he couldn’t because of his position. Anonymous says they met up and their relationship got sexual but the guy started avoiding her after this.  Anonymous says it’s been a year since he started ignoring her, but she’s struggling to get over him.

Ask A Man 10 March '25: 'Dating guys that are with other people'

Anonymous says she met a guy a month ago and they immediately hit things off. Anonymous says three days into the relationship she snooped around and found out from one her friends that the guy is dating one of her friends in their neighbourhood.  Anonymous says she confronted him about this, however, they’ve continued to date as she says he won’t let her go. Anonymous says she also wants to break things off with him because he might be involved in dodgy businesses.  Anonymous says she also has another guy that she dated previously, who she really likes, but he is married.   Anonymous says dating is showing her flames and she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 7 March

Ask a Man 06 March '25: 'I'm addicted to my abusive partner.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for about 5 years, they live together and he’s even paid lobola partially. Anonymous says his partner was pregnant at some point but unfortunately she had a stillbirth. Anonymous says things changed in their relationship from this point. Anonymous says she started drinking and partying more, and would blame anonymous for her stillbirth. Anonymous says he broke things off with her because it was too much but got back together with her months later after she asked him to forgive her.  Anonymous says she continued to be messy and he has now moved out again. Anonymous says he loves her and still wants to be with her but he’s not sure if it can work between them.

Ask A Man 05 March '25: 'I need closure from my cheating partner.'

Anonymous says she met her partner in late 2023, she says they started as friends and it eventually turned into a romantic relationship. Anonymous says from the onset, they were honest with each other, had great communication and even shared about their past relationship traumas.   Anonymous says things have now taken a turn in their relationship after she found suspicious texts between him and another lady on his phone. Anonymous says she confronted him about this, he said they would talk about it, but that’s never happened.  Anonymous says the communication in their relationship has broken down and she doesn’t understand where they are at in their relationship.  Anonymous just wants him to be open and honest with her so she can better understand what’s happening between them.

Ask A Man 04 March '25: 'I love him but I'm tired of being a side.'

Anonymous says she met a guy 4 years ago and 5 months into their relationship he told her that he was in a relationship with someone else, after initially denying this fact. Anonymous says he told that her was with the mother of his child and they live together but their relationship is not great.  Anonymous says despite this fact, he’s a great partner who takes care of her and is always there for her which makes it so difficult to leave him.  She says 4 years later she doesn’t even know where he lives, he’s promised her that their relationship will eventually turn into something more but she’s not tired of the situation.

Ask a Man 03 March '25: 'Was I right for leaving my roller coaster of a relationship.'

Anonymous says he his ex partner in varsity in 2019 and they started dating back then. Anonymous says post varsity, they moved in together and he was taking care of both of them financially at the time.  Anonymous says their relationship was tumultuous, there was infidelity and lots of other conflicts in their relationship.  Anonymous says he then got a job opportunity in another area and their relationship became long distant. This added fuel to the fire and they ended up breaking up.  Anonymous suspects that she might have been cheating on him while they were still together. He’s tried to get back together with her, but it hasn’t worked out.  Anonymous wonders if he did the right thing by giving up on their relationship, especially because they have a child together.

Ask a Man 28 Feb '25: 'I think my man wants to be a house husband.'

Anonymous called last year and told us that her husband can’t seem to keep a job as he finds jobs and then resigns unreasonably after a short period of working.  At the time anonymous was advised to stand by her man, bring in the family and also check if there could be witchcraft involved.  It’s 7 months later since she called Ask a Man and she says she’s tried all that and it doesn’t seem to be helping. Anonymous says she wants to give up now.

Ask A Man 27 Feb '25: 'How do I leave my cheating partner?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 3 years now and and she gave birth to their child late last year.  Anonymous says after giving birth she found out that her partner was cheating on her. Anonymous says they patched things up after the infidelity, however, she’s struggling to move on from the cheating.  Anonymous says she still loves him and wants to be with him but needs help with forgiving him and moving on from his cheating.

Ask A Man 26 Feb '25: 'My husband is great but I'm in love with someone else.'

Anonymous says she’s been married to her husband for 10 years and they’ve known each from childhood as they grew up in the same area.  Anonymous says a few years ago, while her and her husband were going through a rough patch, she met someone else and says the connection with this person was strong and passionate.  Anonymous says they’ve eventually worked things out with her husband and she agreed with her husband to let the  other guy go and focus on them.  Anonymous says she never really stopped thinking about this other guy and he has now made contact with her after about a year and a half, and their connnection is very intense. Anonymous says things are great with her husband but she feels like the other guy could be the one and wonders if she can live with never trying with this guy.

Self Care 25 Feb

Ask A Man 25 Feb '25: 'My partner doesn't want to be married in community of property.'

Anonymous has currently been with his partner of 10 years and they are in a customary marriage. Anonymous says his partner only realised after the fact that because they completed the lobola process they couldn’t sign a prenup as they are already in a customary marriage.  Anonymous says his partner said at the time that she would never be happy in their relationship as she wanted to be married out of community of property because she doesn’t want anonymous’ children to benefit from her assets.  Anonymous says years later his partner separated from him as she wasn’t happy. Anonymous says time has gone by and his partner is still saying she’s not ready to get back together with him.

Ask A Man 24 Feb '25: 'My disappearing partner.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 10 years and he’s paid half the lobola to her family and 3 years ago and they now also have a child.  Anonymous says her partner once cheated on her and after going their separate ways for about 6 months because of this, she eventually forgave and they got back together.  Anonymous says it’s years later now and he’s been acting dodgy over the last few months. Anonymous says he tends to go out with friends and disappear on her without explanation. Anonymous says they fought about his behaviour last week and he left again and as it stands right now he doesn’t know where he is.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know if she should stay in this relationship, as she suspects that he could be cheating on her again.

Ask A Man 21 Feb. '25: 'Scared of getting back together.'

Anonymous says he met his ex wife 20 years ago in varsity and they immediately clicked but things came to an end when she dropped out of school. They reconnected 15 years later and ended u getting married.  Anonymous says their relationship was great, however they went through a lot: she lost her parents in consecutive years and he got sick. Anonymous says it became a lot on them and they ended up divorcing.  Anonymous says some time has gone by and they started talking to each other again and sparks are flying. Anonymous says they could get back together, but he’s not sure if he can risk  his heart.

Ask A Man 20 Feb '25: 'I think my partner hates my son.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 5 years, they’ve been living with each other for 3 years and they have a 1 year-old child.  Anonymous says she has an 8 year-old child and spoke to him about her child moving from her grandmother and living with them. Anonymous says her partner then went home to see his family and when he came back earlier this year, anonymous’ older child had moved in to their place.  Anonymous says since he’s been back, he’s been offish and she thinks he doesn’t like her older son. This tension led to them fighting and anonymous eventually moved out of that place and back to her own house.  Anonymous says they are not really speaking and are even making arrangements for visitations. Anonymous is not sure how to move forward

Ask A Man 19 Feb '25: 'Is he just dominant or controlling?'

Anonymous saying she’s recently moved to a new city  and then things ended in her relationship with her previous partner because of the distance.  Anonymous says she’s now met someone new, soon after the break-up, but feels like maybe she’s rushing into things after the break up.  Anonymous says she feels like the new guy is different to the other guys she’s dated. She feels like he’s dominant, but also bordering on being controlling. Anonymous is not sure if she’s just feeling this way because she’s fresh from a break-up.

Ask A Man 18 Feb '25: 'Why do I keep attracting the wrong type of guy?'

Anonymous called last year having troubles in her relationship and adding that she would like to be in a throuple type of situation where she would be with her man, at the time, and another woman, all dating each other at the same time. Anonymous says after calling into the show, she decided to take a break to work on herself, as she felt like she was attracting the same type of guys she doesn’t want to be with.  Anonymous says she’s been doing well on this journey but now feels like she’s still attracting the same type of men that she feels are not good for her and treat her poorly…

Ask a Man 17 Feb '25: 'I have evidence but he denies cheating on me.'

Anonymous says she met and started dating her partner in 2020. Anonymous says a year later in 2021 the guy started the lobola process in order to marry her.   Anonymous says they were blessed with a baby in 2022, but after giving birth she found out that her partner was cheating on her while she was at home nursing their new baby.  Anonymous says they separated after the infidelity incident, and got back together after family intervention months later. Anonymous says she’s recently given birth to their child.  Anonymous says her partner is now currently driving her car but she’s noticed, via tracker, that he’s been making some questionable trips to BNBs and when she tracked him down and confronted him about this, he denied having an affair…

Ask A Man 14 Feb '25: 'Am I expecting too much as a side?'

Anonymous says she’s speaking on her friend’s behalf…  Anonymous says she met a guy who’s son plays soccer with her son. They knew each other but only started talking when the guy gave anonymous a lift with her son to soccer practice.  Anonymous says the lifts continued and feelings grew between them, even though the guy has a girlfriend. Anonymous says they caught feelings for each other and started having a relationship.  Anonymous says the problem is that he tends to disappear on him and then comes back all lovey lovey. Anonymous is not sure how to deal with the situation.

Ask a Man 13 Feb '25: 'My partner is offering money for me to money to stay with him.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating a guy for about 2 months, after meeting him in November last year. Anonymous says she started dating this guy a while after her previous relationship with her ex who says is a narcissist.  Anonymous says weeks into the relationship he started showing signs of narcissism. She says his behaviour is reminding her of her ex and it’s turning her off. Anonymous says she’s slowly fazed him out of her life and he’s been trying to get back in.  Anonymous says he has now resorted to saying that it’s ok if they don’t to date, they can just have sexual relationship and he’ll pay her for this.  Anonymous says she still kind of likes him and finds herself confused by this offer and the meaning of their relationship.

Ask A Man 12 Feb '25: 'My partner has made me responsible for his kids.'

Anonymous says she has two kids from different fathers and says she’s now in a new relationship with a new guy who she says loves her and her kids.  Anonymous says things have been going well in their relationship until the mother of her partner’s two children found out about their relationship and has now sent those two children to come live with anonymous and her partner.  Anonymous says she loves her partner’s kids but says she’s struggling with now raising 4 children, and says she bares most of the burden of taking care of the 4 children.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to deal with this.

Ask a Man 11 Feb '25: 'Am I emotionally disconnected?'

Anonymous says she was married for 5 years and divorced her husband in 2023. Anonymous says later that year she got into a long distance situationship with a new guy.  Anonymous says communication is a bit of a problem in their relationship, she says he tends to disappear for days without saying anything and she leaves things that way but he has complained that he feels like her behaviour indicates that she is not that into him.  Anonymous is wondering if she really is disconnected in the relationship, she says every other aspect of the relationship is good, and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 10 Feb '25: 'Tired of being disrespected by my partner's family.'

Anonymous says she got married to her partner in 2020 after a year of being together and just before they had their first child.  Anonymous says at the beginning of their marriage she noticed that he wasn’t being fully transparent about his finances and she confronted him about that and that’s when he came clean and revealed details of the money he’s spending on his mom.  Anonymous says as time went by, her husband’s mother started calling anonymous, telling her that since she came into her son’s life, he doesn’t support her financially like he used to before he got married to anonymous.  Anonymous says her partner’s mother and other family members don’t have boundaries and are often rude when speaking to anonymous. Anonymous says she’s spoken to her partner about this but he doesn’t seem to be confronting his family about their behaviour.

Ask A Man 07 Feb '25: 'My partner is angry at me for speaking to my ex.'

Anonymous says she met an amazing guy last year in July, after breaking up with a man who she says was toxic and a serial cheater.  Anonymous says the relationship with the new guy has been going well but recently she unblocked her toxic ex and he ended up calling her and they spoke on the phone.  The issue now is that anonymous’ current partner found out about this call and is now angry at anonymous for unblocking her ex and not telling her current partner about this call.  Anonymous says she had told her partner about her ex and how horrible he was to her. Anonymous says her partner is now not speaking to her and won’t hear her out, she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask a Man 06 Feb '25: 'Is my partner over me?'

Anonymous says she started dating her partner in 2009 while she was in matric. She says the relationship went well and they eventually got married and now have 3 kids together.  Anonymous says in 2022 while she was pregnant with their third child she found out that her husband had impregnated someone else. Anonymous says this caused a rift in their relationship and she ended up in a situation where she was fighting to get him back and he was refusing.  Anonymous says her husband then lost his job and she took him back in her life an supported him, even when she lost her job, she used the little that she had to help him.  Anonymous says he then found a job, but left her and moved back home to his family’s home, where the lady he impregnated lives.  Anonymous says he’s supporting the children financially but their relationship is strained and she doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 05 Feb '25: 'He's moved on, but I'm struggling to do the same.'

Anonymous says she got married to her high school sweetheart in 2017 and says their relationship was generally great. Anonymous says they had a child in 2019, but things got weird in 2023 when his behaviour changed and he was always irritable and seemed to be annoyed by her. Anonymous says the communication in their relationship also faded.  Anonymous says she eventually caught him cheating on her and after she confronted him about it, he said nothing and just moved out of their home. Anonymous says he’s still with the lady he cheated on her with and has even introduced that lady to his family.  Anonymous says she’s struggling to move on.

Ask A Man 04 Feb '25: 'I'm cheating on my cheating wife.'

Anonymous says he got married to his wife back in 2017 and shortly after they got married she started having an affair with her ex. Anonymous says he confronted her about this and she asked him for forgiveness, which he gave her but told her that something was broken between and that there would be consequences of her actions.  Anonymous says 5 years after his wife cheated on him, he ran into his high school sweetheart and he started having an affair with her. Anonymous’ wife now knows that he’s having an affair with his ex and he feels like he’s more in love with his ex than he is with his wife.  Anonymous says he never got over the cheating and doesn’t know how to move forward from here.