Ask A Man 22 Nov

Ask A Man 21 Nov '24: 'My boyfriend just told me he has a wife.'

Anonymous says she met her partner about a year ago and says they got into a relationship, which anonymous says is her first relationship ever.  Anonymous says things have been going well in their relationship, however, she says before he could meet her family, he revealed to her that he’s actually married and wants anonymous to become his second wife.  Anonymous says there were no red flags and this confession hit her by complete surprise. Anonymous says their relationship has been amazing and she’s not sure if she wants to continue and become his second wife.  

Ask A Man 20 Nov '24: 'Is he really serious about me or was it all about the money?'

Anonymous says her and her current partner started working on businesses together early on in their relationship and things were generally ok until she realised that he would receive money from their clients and not be transparent with anonymous about the amounts as they were paid into his company.  Anonymous says her job at the time did not allow her to have side hustles, so they did business using his company.  Anonymous says they stayed together at her place because he couldn’t afford to pay for his own place but after the successes in the business he was upgrading his house without even speaking to anonymous about it.  Anonymous says after all this and some issues they had with their children, her partner told anonymous that he was moving back into his place and they would proceed to live in separate homes but remain a couple.  Anonymous says the relationship has faded since then, he’s tried to rekindle things but anonymous says she’s not sure and he’s also burnt bridges with her family through his treatment of her. 

Ask A Man 19 Nov '24: 'I Can't Lose My Ben-6'

Anonymous says she met a guy two weeks ago and they’ve been dating for 4 days. Anonymous says he’s in his early twenties, she’s in her mid-twenties, and things are going really well so far. Anonymous says her business is down the road from where the guy lives and a couple of days ago they got intimate with the guy which led to him arriving home past his curfew. Now his family has found out about their relationship and they are not happy. Anonymous says they now want the guy to move away from the area and she’s not sure what to do. She feels like she really likes him and doesn’t know if she should chat to his family about their relationship. Anonymous is also not sure if this is worth a fight. 

Ask A Man - 18 Nov '24: 'My partner mis-treated me when I was jobless.'

Anonymous says he’s been in a relationship with his partner for about 12 year, they have two children together and his partner came into the relationship with another child.  Anonymous says he lost his job during the pandemic, and got money from his workplace after being removed. Anonymous says he used the money to try and lobola his partner, but he eventually ran out of his savings and wasn’t able to complete the lobola. Anonymous says his partner became verbally abusive and wasn’t treating him right because he was unemployed.   Anonymous says he now has job, and she’s back to treating him right again. Anonymous is thinking of continuing with the lobola process but he’s not sure if he should continue with the relationship with his partner because of how she’s treated him in the past.

Ask A Man 15 Nov '24: 'Have my wife and I ruined our relationship for good?'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 15 years and they’ve been married for 4 years.  Anonymous says his partner is quite fierce and stern and can be very independent within their relationship. Anonymous says one of the issues they are currently going through now is that he’s suspicious of her relationship with another man who’s even called her while they were at home together and caused a rift between them.  Anonymous says his wife is also very submissive when she’s speaking to this guy, but she’s hardly ever like that with him.  Anonymous is not sure what’s going on and doesn’t know if he should hold on to this relationship. 

Ask A Man 14 Nov '24: 'Worried I might return to my toxic ex.'

Anonymous says she was in toxic relationship for 3 years and says there was lots of infidelity amongst other things.  Anonymous says her partner made her very anxious with his antics and for the longest time she would leave him but then go back to him.  Anonymous says she has left him again now and it’s been more than a week of no contact with him but she’s struggling with moving forward and getting over him.  Anonymous is worried she might relapse and find herself going back to him again. Anonymous needs advice on how to let go of a toxic partner.

Ask A Man 13 Nov '24: 'Can we mend things after our separation?'

Anonymous says he’s been married to his wife since 2015 and they separated in 2019, but didn’t get divorced. Anonymous says during this time they had relationships with other people.  Anonymous says they got back together around August last year and they agreed to end things with the people they were seeing.  Anonymous says over the weeks he realised that a guy renting at one of their properties was his wife’s ex, from the time they were apart, he talked to her about this and they removed the guy as a tenant.  Anonymous says things seem to not have ended between his wife and this guy as the guy has even bought her an expensive gift. Anonymous is not sure if his wife is still romantically involved with this guy and how they can move forward from this.

Ask A Man 12 Nov '24: 'Second wife because I can't have children?'

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with her  partner for 4 years and earlier this year she had a miscarriage, following which, the doctor told anonymous that she won’t be able to bear children.  Anonymous says her partner started acting funny after this and months later she found out the guy had impregnated another lady to please his family and their cultural beliefs.  Anonymous says the family then told her that the pregnant lady will become the first wife, because she can bear children, and then anonymous can then become the second wife. Anonymous is wondering if she should stay in the relationship.

Ask A Man 11 Nov '24: 'I cheated on my current with my ex.'

Anonymous says months into his relationship with girl no.1, he realised that girl no.1 had been dating someone else when they met and this caused a rift in their relationship, even leading to him cheating on girl no.1.  Anonymous says they had a child which they thought would fix their relationship, but things didn’t workout and they broke up. Anonymous says 7 months after breaking up with girl no.1, he met girl no.2, but they broke up shortly after they started because of girl no.2’s relationship with the father of her child.  Anonymous says he and girl no.2 then reconnected and are still dating now, however, anonymous says he rekindled things with girl no.1 and they had sex twice and girl no.1 ended up telling girl no.2 about it.  This caused a problem between anonymous and girl no.2, his current partner. Anonymous says they haven’t really recovered from the infidelity and girl no.2 now wants to end things. Anonymous is not sure if he should fight for her to stay in the relationship.

Ask A Man 08 Nov '24: 'My boyfriend's other partner is back in town.'

Anonymous says she met a guy four years ago and says he had a partner when they started dating and they were in a long distance relationship.  Anonymous says their relationship has been great over the years but now the main partner is now back in the area which has affected anonymous’ relationship with this guy.  Anonymous says he’s not spending as much time with her as he used to and doesn’t know where she stands now that he’s no longer in a long distance relationship.  Anonymous says he still wants to be with her, however, she doesn’t know how to navigate this situation.

Ask A Man 07 Nov '24: 'My partner doesn't fight fair.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 8 years now and they have three kids together. Anonymous says her partner generally treats her well and things are generally ok.  Anonymous says the problem is when they have conflict in their relationship, she says he becomes verbally violent towards her and treats her terribly, including humiliating her publicly.  Anonymous says he also has a tendency to get upset at her when she’s out with friends, even accusing her of cheating, this with the backdrop of his own multiple infidelities. 

Ask A Man 06 Nov '24: 'Is my married boyfriend just not that into me?'

Anonymous says she met a guy at work during the pandemic and things were fine between them for about 6 months, but it changed when he became a bit distant towards her.  Anonymous says she then found out he had lied to her and was in fact  in a relationship with someone else who he had paid lobola for and also has a child with that person.  Anonymous says things faded from that point but the guy came back into anonymous’ life and explained that he wasn’t really with the other lady and was only with her because of the child they have together.  Anonymous says he keeps coming and going out of her life. She knows this behaviour is wrong but she loves him and doesn’t know how to get out of this. 

Ask A Man 05 Nov '24: 'My pregnant partner wants to move on with someone else.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 3 years and their relationship has been generally good.  Anonymous says six months ago his partner fell pregnant and as a result he ended up buying a home for them in order to solidify things between them.  Anonymous says recently his partner announced to him that she’s actually dating someone else and doesn’t want to be with anonymous anymore. She says the baby is anonymous’ baby but she wants to move on with someone else.  Anonymous says the other guy has now also called him and told him to leave his partner as it’s over between them.  Anonymous says he still loves her and doesn’t want to end things, he wants to find out what’s causing her to behave like this as he feels like their relationship was going well.

Ask A Man 04 Nov '24: 'My partner is terrible at communicating.'

Anonymous says her and her partner have been together for a year now and says at the beginning of their relationship her partner communicated frequently, but that changed a couple of months into the relationship.  Anonymous says he started not communicating as frequently as he used to and when anonymous confronted him about this he said he wasn’t losing interest, he’s just currently going through a lot. Anonymous says the communication has not improved and every time she brings it up he doesn’t really want to discuss the issue and tends to avoid this issue. Anonymous says there’s nothing indicating that he has someone else, so she’s not sure what to do.

Ask a Man 01 Nov '24: 'My partner is on and off'

Anonymous says she met a guy on a dating app early this year and says they hit things off immediately and proceeded to date.  Anonymous says things were fine for four months however anonymous says the guy suddenly switched up on her and eventually broke up with her saying she’s too much and she overwhelms him.  Anonymous says they broke up but a month later he just came back and wanted to be with her again without any real explanation of what went wrong.  Anonymous says they are now sort of back together but he’s not very present in their relationship.  Anonymous is not sure what is up with him

Ask A Man 31 Oct '24: 'He's supports me financially but not emotionally.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for about a year and a half now and says he’s still married but separated from his spouse.  Anonymous says things were fine and when she lost her job he started taking care of her, and pays for her rent and groceries. Anonymous says he’s now changed on her, he ignores texts and and doesn’t want to talk yo her most of the time.  Anonymous doesn’t know what to do as she relies on him financially.

Ask A Man 30 Oct '24: 'How to tell my partner about my HIV positive status.'

Anonymous says she’s been in her current relationship for 4 months now and it’s going well. Her problem is that she’s not sure how to go about sharing her HIV positive status with him.  Anonymous says in the past when she’s shared this detail about her self, the guy left her and that’s why she’s scared of disclosing this to her current guy as she feels like their relationship seems like it could get serious. She’s worried that he might end things with her as well.

Ask A Man 29 Oct '24: 'My side wants to get married.'

Anonymous says he’s been with the mother of his child for several years and they’ve been going through a rough patch which he says has led him to having a relationship with someone else on the side.  Anonymous says he’s been with his side girl for 4 months and things have gotten a bit awkward between them as his side now wants to take things to the next level and get married.  Anonymous says he’s worried about this and is not sure if he should marry her as it’s early in their relationship and he’s also worried about breaking things off with the mother of his child. Anonymous says he’s also worried that she might be a bit controlling and might have anger issues based on certain events that have happened in their short relationship.

Ask A Man 28 Oct '24: 'She's moving on with my kids.'

Anonymous say he’s been in a relationship for 6 years things were fine until 3 months ago.  Anonymous says when he met the lady she wasn’t in good condition and she was on drugs. Anonymous says he then helped her and cleaned her up and she got back on her feet and went back to school.  Anonymous says they had a child together and around that time he met the girl’s parents but they were not happy for him to be with her because he’s Zimbabwean and they are Mozambican.  Anonymous says they are expecting a second child together, but things changed when he realised that she was cheating on him, but her family reacted violently towards him and she has now moved on to being in a relationship with someone else with their kids. Anonymous says he misses his partner and their kids, and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 25 Oct '24: 'Can a side become a main?'

Anonymous says she’s started dating her current partner in 2012, they dated for a few years before breaking up.  Anonymous says 5 years went by and they started dating again and she thought he had changed but he hadn’t really as anonymous feels like he neglects her and doesn’t make time for her.  Anonymous says it’s disheartening because he makes time for everything and everyone else. Anonymous says she’s confused by his behaviour and doesn’t know what he wants because when she wants to leave he doesn’t want to let go of her.

Ask A Man 24 Oct '24: 'My partner wants me to have sex with her spirits.'

Anonymous says his relationship with his partner was generally fine in the four years they’ve been together until she went to initiation school in order to become a sangoma.  Anonymous says she’s back now and things aren’t the same when it comes to intimacy. Anonymous says his partner now requires more sex from him. Anonymous says they’ve gone from 3 rounds a night to about 9 rounds a night.  Anonymous says he can no longer keep up with this and it’s too much for him. Anonymous says he’s spoken to her about this but she told him that if they don’t do it the ancestors will be angry at him and he’ll have bad luck. Anonymous doesn’t know if he can stay in the relationship under these conditions, he’s tired and it’s affecting him at work.

Ask A Man 23 Oct '24: 'My step daughter is mean and it's affecting my marriage.'

Anonymous says she’s having problems with her step daughter, who’s her husband’s daughter, and doesn’t know what to do.  Anonymous says her step daughter has a bad attitude and is mean and rude towards her. Anonymous says her step daughter also goes around the neighbourhood lying to neighbours about her. Anonymous also adds that they have a 10 year age gap. Anonymous says she’s also confronted her husband about this but he doesn’t seem to be able to resolve the matter.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know what to do now as this situation is affecting her relationship with her husband, anonymous and her husband have two kids together. 

Ask A Man 22 Oct '24: 'My wife has been abusing me since I became disabled'

Anonymous says him and his partner have 2 kids together and their relationship was generally fine until he became wheel chair bound 6 months ago.  Anonymous says she changed on him and on one occasion she went out partying and he confronted her about that and it turned into a fight that turned abusive, anonymous says his partner beat him up, damaged his electrical wheel chair. Anonymous says he pressed charges against her for this and she was arrested. She now doesn’t live with anonymous and their kids anymore. Anonymous says she has now said to him that for them to get back together, and for her to fix his wheel chair and maintain their kids financially, he has to drop the charges.  Anonymous says he doesn't know what to do as he still loves her.

Ask A Man 21 Oct '24: 'What's the reason some men don't want a vasectomy?"

Anonymous says she’s been married for 18 years now and they have 3 kids with her husband and don’t want any more kids. Anonymous says after turning 40, she wants to get off the pill.  Anonymous says her and her partner have explored other birth control methods and the best one for them is for him to get a vasectomy but her partner is not keen and seems like he’s not interested in getting a vasectomy.  Anonymous says she doesn’t get why her husband  doesn’t want to get a vasectomy and wants a man’s perspective on whether she’s asking for too much.

Ask A Man 18 Oct '24: 'Was he only into me because he was broke?'

Anonymous says she has three kids and lost her partner  in 2021. Anonymous says she met a new guy while she was grieving and they started dating.  Anonymous says the guy was unemployed when they met and he moved in with her, and anonymous says she tried to help him get a job and he eventually got one last year.  Anonymous says the guy changed on her after getting employed and they were fighting a lot. Anonymous says he wasn’t communicating much with her but was busy chatting to other women on social media, something he’s been doing since they met. Anonymous says she’s never proven that things got physical with those women.  Anonymous says he’s emotionally unavailable, and he’s kinda on and off in their relationship.  Anonymous is wondering if his behaviour in the beginning was great because he was unemployed and whether she’s now forcing things.

Ask A Man 17 Oct '24: 'My partner has secret meetings with OUR friend.'

Anonymous says she feels like there’s a third person in their relationship. Anonymous says her and her partner have a mutual friend who is the person that introduced them to each other.  Anonymous says over the last year her and this third person drifted apart but she’s now realised that this friend and her partner have become closer. Anonymous says her partner now hides when he meets up with the friend and they even go on dates without her, which is something they used to do together.  Anonymous says there’s also been incidences where her partner comments on how good the friend is looking. Anonymous says she doesn’t get the sense that her partner is cheating on her with their friend and wonders if she’s just insecure and unreasonable about their relationship. Anonymous says she’s not sure what to do about this situation.

Ask A Man 16 Oct '24: 'Why is my love life messy?'

Anonymous says back in 2021 he was in a relationship and ready to get engaged to guy no.1, however around that time he met someone else, guy no.2,  in a club and they had a one night stand.  Anonymous says two weeks after the incident, he ghosted guy no.2 as he was confused and he continued with his engagement. Anonymous says a few weeks went by and he reached out to guy no.2 again and they eventually met, and during this meet up guy no.2 opened up about his HIV positive status and anonymous says that wasn’t a problem for him. Anonymous says he ended his engagement with guy no.1 and continued with a relationship with guy no.2, however things got rocky between them and anonymous found himself back on a hook up app which caused problems in their relationship. Anonymous says guy no.2 also had financial issues and that, and his own infidelity led to their break up in September last year.  Anonymous says they were not speaking for a while however reconnected, became friends and they even car pooled together in anonymous car to go to work and gym. Anonymous says he then started dating someone else and guy no.2 became jealous of the relationship and eventually anonymous says guy no.2 ghosted him after meeting another guy.  Anonymous says guy no.2 then returned and even seduced him despite the fact that they are now friends and have partners. Anonymous doesn’t understand why he’s still in this messy situation with guy no.2.

Ask A Man 15 Oct '24: 'I'm living at my controlling partner's place.'

Anonymous says he’s known his partner for 3 years and things were mostly fine until he faced some financial struggles.  Anonymous says he moved to another country overseas for work purposes, but when things didn’t workout, he made his way back to the country but had nowhere to stay. His things were at his partner’s home, and so the partner took him in to live with her.  Anonymous says in the time that he’s lived with her, she’s become controlling and doesn’t seem to have any regard for him or anything he has to say. Anonymous says he’s not surprised by this behaviour as she was a bit offish when it comes to communication while he was overseas.  Anonymous says he’s not sure if she should continue to stay with her.

Ask A Man 14 Oct '24: 'My partner wants to be with me but is also in love with his side chick'

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with the father of her child for 7 years and things were ok until earlier this year when she realised he was cheating on her.  Anonymous says when she confronted him about it he confessed that he was cheating and was in love with the other lady and he intended to keep seeing the other lady. Anonymous stuck around but eventually moved out of their place because of his affair.  Anonymous says they are now sort of back together and he’s treating her amazingly and their relationship is good, however, her partner still says he still wants to be with the other lady as well.

Ask A Man 11 Oct '24: 'How do I deal with my narcissist partner?'

Anonymous says her boyfriend is a married man and they’ve been together for  2 years. Anonymous says their relationship is generally fine and he’s a good partner but he seems to be a narcissist.  Anonymous says he tends to look down on her and can be patronising, and he wasn’t like that at the beginning of their relationship. Anonymous says he’s even suggested she lose weight.  Anonymous says he’s promised to take her in as a second wife, however, at this point she’s not understanding his personality and why he sometimes treats her negatively.

Ask A Man 10 Oct '24: 'Struggling to leave my abusive partner.'

Anonymous says she has known her partner for about 12 years now, since her first year in varsity. Anonymous says after her partner’s aunt passed away, they took in the children and raised them till they moved out in 2019. Anonymous says she had a child with him in 2019 & 2020, but the first child unfortunately died two years ago due to illness.  Anonymous says they got married around 2019, however over a couple of years his behaviour changed. Anonymous says he started looking down on her, complaining about her weight and how she runs their household. Anonymous also describes how he goes out drinking and comes back home demanding sex from her, he has also cheated on anonymous but is not remorseful for any of his behaviour. Anonymous says she’s tried to complain to his family but they are not able to talk to him as he’s the breadwinner at home.  Anonymous says she’s had enough and doesn’t know what’s holding her back.

Ask A Man 09 Oct '24: 'I don't know why I'm with my serial cheating husband.'

Anonymous says she’s been married to her husband for 6 years now. She says when they initially met he was married, they hooked up, but he disappeared and came back months later after breaking up with his wife.  Anonymous says they then dated and about 3 months into their relationship, she found out he was cheating, she forgave him and they moved on and got married.  Anonymous says last year while she was pregnant and visiting her child who lives with her parents, she tried to contact him but couldn’t reach him, she returned back to their place only to find the place trashed and an open condom wrapper in one of the rooms. Anonymous says her partner later confessed that he had come back home with some girls who drugged him and stole from them.  Anonymous says a similar incident has now taken place again,, she visited her family and he was busy with his shenanigans again.

Ask A Man 08 Oct '24: 'Why do I keep losing partners after giving birth?'

Anonymous says she married her husband last year November and she gave birth to their child in August of this year.  Anonymous says she came into the relationship with one child, so did her husband,  and says less than a year into their relationship her partner wants a divorce. Anonymous says she’s taken aback by this as the father of her first child also broke up with her a month after she gave birth.  Anonymous is wondering what she’s doing that’s causing history to repeat itself. Anonymous adds that the current fight with her partner is based on how often her first daughter can visit their house, her husband wants the visits to be less frequent.  Anonymous also says there was a change in how they communicate and time spent together when they got married.

Ask A Man 07 Oct '24: 'My girlfriend cheated, should I marry her?'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner since 2014 and they each came  into the relationship with a child. Anonymous says they started lobola proceedings in 2016, however he still needs to complete the process and they now have two kids together.  Anonymous says they then started working together at the same place for a few years and everything was fine until he started working somewhere else, far from home, and their relationship became more of a long distance relationship.  Anonymous says he found out that she was cheating on him with someone from work and when he confronted her about it, she explained that she was feeling lonely because she wasn’t seeing him as often as she used to.  Anonymous believes she’s cheated on him again and again and thinks she’s back it again right now. Anonymous says he was planning on completing the lobola this year but he’s now wondering if he should just let go of the relationship.

Ask A Man 03 Oct '24: 'Was I wrong for snapping at him?'

Anonymous says she’s in her early twenties and in a relationship with a man in his mid-thirties. She fell in love instantly and they started dating.  Anonymous says he found conversations on his phone that indicated that he was chatting with other ladies and she snapped and confronted him about this and it caused a rift between them.  Anonymous says he is now not even taking her calls and she wonders if she overreacted and wants him back in her life.

Ask A Man 02 Oct '24: 'I'm a side, and he now won't let go of his other side'

Anonymous says when she first her current partner, he made it clear that he had someone else. Anonymous says she was ok with this as long as he doesn’t treat her like “the other woman”.  Anonymous says there was then an incident while they were dating where she caught him red handed cheating, which led to her damaging his car, but they got back together after this incident.  Anonymous says he then came to her asking for money and she refused. Following that he pressed charges against her for damaging his car and she was arrested.  Anonymous says they didn’t chat for a while after this but they ended up getting back together and she fell pregnant. She says he was initially disinterested in their child but after a while he warmed up to the child.  Anonymous says despite them being together, the other girl he cheated on her with is still in the picture.

Ask A Man 01 Oct '24: "Why do I keep going back?'

Anonymous says she’s been with the father of her child for about 15 years and says their relationship has been turbulent during this period, especially after she gave birth.  Anonymous says they’ve broken up and made up many times over the years because of multiple conflicts in their relationship, and they’ve both been with other people but keep finding themselves coming back to each other.  Anonymous says one of the bigger issues is that her family doesn’t approve of her partner and she doesn’t know how to get out of this cycle.

Ask A Man 30 Sep '24: 'My partner is financially irresponsible.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 6 years and says their relationship is generally good but he feels like his partner is financially irresponsible.  Anonymous says his partner doesn’t budget properly and has accumulated a lot of debt. He says she also seems to be an impulse buyer.  Anonymous says he’s confronted her about this and he advised her to change her behaviour however she hasn’t changed her spending habits.  Anonymous says he’s frustrated by this and feels like he’s not progressing in life because of this behaviour.

Ask A Man 27 Sep '24: 'Not sure I can help my partner as he mourns his late wife.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for about 6 months and says from the start of the relationship, her partner told her that he had lost his wife about 3 years ago, however, he said he was ready to be in a relationship.  Anonymous says in the 6 months they’ve dated, they’ve only been with each other 6 times. Anonymous says she addressed this with him, and he revealed to her that he is  in fact still grieving his loss and was afraid to admit to her when they met.  Anonymous says when she questioned him about making time for her, he explained that he doesn’t have much time as he is a single parent and doesn’t have much time - anonymous is a single parent herself. Anonymous says she’s not sure if she should stay in this relationship.

Ask A Man 26 Sep '24: 'My partner finds me financially unattractive.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his current partner for about a year now and says when they started he was dating someone else but that relationship was complicated.  Anonymous says a couple of months into their relationship he discovered that his partner was having suspicious conversations with other people on her phone and she would never explain who the people are.  Anonymous says his partner celebrated her birthday last week, however, anonymous told his partner that he was broke and he’ll only  be able to celebrate her at the end of the month.  Anonymous says his girlfriend later told him that she was going on a get-away with her friends and told anonymous that these are the things she enjoys and that she doesn’t respect him because he doesn’t have much money for her.  Anonymous says he loves his partner and has sacrificed for her, he’s not sure how to navigate this situation.

Ask A Man 25 Sep '24: 'I'm struggling with polygamy.'

Anonymous says he has two partners and initially he dated both of them and they were not aware of this situation. Anonymous says he eventually married lady no.1 and after the marriage he confessed to the ladies that he was seeing both of them.  Anonymous says lady no.1 was initially resistant to the idea of being in a polygamous relationship but accepted it. Anonymous says he is now in a polygamous relationship and has bought homes for both his partners and has kids with both of them.  Anonymous says the issue he has now is that the partners get upset with him when he visits the other and he’s not sure how to navigate that.

Ask A Man 23 Sep '24: "Uncomfortable with ex introducing our child to his new girlfrriend.'

Anonymous says she was in a relationship for 6 years with her ex until they broke up two years ago and they have a child together.  Anonymous says they’ve been co-parenting well during that time however anonymous says a week ago, her daughter shared that she’d been spending time with her new mommy while visiting her dad. Anonymous says she was confused by this as she wasn’t told by her ex that he’s in a relationship now and that his new partner has access to their daughter.  Anonymous says she hasn’t been introduced to her ex’s new partner and feels like she’s being disrespected in this situation. Anonymous says she also has a partner but that partner hasn’t met her daughter out of respect. Anonymous says she’s not sure if she’s overreacting or whether she should speak to ex about this.

Ask A Man 20 Sep '24: 'How do I get closure from my ex who had a baby with someone else?'

Anonymous says he was dating his partner for 9 years and they have two kids. Anonymous says their relationship was toxic and they broke things off.  Anonymous says after they broke up his ex wouldn’t allow him to see his kids and he took her to court to force her to allow him and in that process he ended up requesting a paternity test and found out that the first child is not his. Anonymous says in the middle of all this she damaged his property, assaulted him and also told people that he wasn’t supporting his children. Anonymous says she’s still hostile towards him and is not remorseful.  Anonymous says he’s not sure if his ex has told the first child that he’s not his father.  Anonymous says he feels like she owes him an apology, so he can get closure and doesn’t know how to move on without one.

Ask A Man 19 Sep '24: 'She's rude to me when she gets drunk.'

Anonymous says he broke up with his previous partner in April this year and after a 3 month break he went back on Instagram ready to re enter the dating game.  Anonymous says one of the first people he saw on Instagram was his high school crush, they reconnected and started chatting in the DMs and eventually exchanged numbers, they hit off and would be on the phone with each other for hours.  Anonymous says his crush still lives in their home province and he lives somewhere else but when he returned home they met up and went out and this is when she got drunk and started behaving “unruly” & rude towards him.  Anonymous says this has happened a couple of times when they are out. Anonymous says he’s now back where he lives and is wondering if she has the character of someone he would want to be with.

Ask A Man 18 Sep '24: 'Should I wait for my ex who's still getting over her ex.'

Anonymous says he dated his now ex partner for about 6 months, a couple of months after she got out of a long term relationship in which her partner cheated on her with her best friend.  Anonymous says they went on a dinner date about two days ago and while on the date she confessed to him that she had recently seen pictures of her ex and felt something for her ex, and feels like it’s a lot for her and she doesn’t want to continue dating anonymous for now, as she feels like she needs time to find herself.  Anonymous says they broke up and he spoke to his now ex’s mom who said she agrees that her daughter needs time, but advised anonymous to be patient with her and wait as he’s been a good influence on her.  Anonymous is not sure if he should wait for her.

Ask A Man 17 Sept '24: 'My partner is not giving me attention'

Anonymous says she started dating her current partner after meeting him at her child’s school and adds that he has a good relationship with her child.  Anonymous says they went on with their relationship and she fell pregnant unintentionally as they were relying on the “pull-out” method. Anonymous says she terminated her pregnancy because she felt like they were not financially prepared at the time.  Anonymous says they met around the Covid period, and he he wasn’t working at the time and was available for her. He’s back at work now and anonymous says she feels like he’s not making time for her and has said to her that he’s just currently really hectic.  Anonymous says she has no reason to suspect that he’s cheating and just feels like their relationship is stagnant. She loves him and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 16 Sep '24: 'My partner doesn't contribute when he stays over t my place'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for the last year and says the relationship has been good for the most part.  Anonymous says her partner told her he was being evicted from his place and was cagy about the information when he needed to move, but anonymous later realised that he actually used to live with someone at that place and the lease was under that partners name, hence he needed to leave.  Anonymous says she overlooked this and they continued with their relationship, anonymous even allowed him to move in with her and her kids while he finds a place.  Anonymous says during the time he lived with her he was not contributing in the household. He has now moved out to his own place but anonymous says he visits a lot and still doesn’t contribute to the household.  Anonymous says she also caught him speaking on the phone with another lady and suspects that he might be cheating but he says that’s not the case.

Ask A Man 13 Sep '24: 'Is my partner taking our relationship seriously?'

Anonymous says he’s been dating his partner for 9 months and says they keep getting into conflicts and he doesn’t understand why this keeps happening.  Anonymous says his partner is slightly older than him in her thirties and he’s in his twenties, anonymous adds that she has a child. Anonymous says one of the things is that he’s an indoors kind of person and she likes to go out, which has created tension between them.  Anonymous says he once caught her cheating on him and she lied about it. Anonymous says he’s not sure if she’s present in the relationship and wants to be in it or not. 

Ask A Man 12 Sep '24: 'Can he love me despite all the things he's done to me?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 5 years now and they have a child together. Anonymous says the relationship was great however she realised about two years ago that he had been cheating on her throughout their relationship. Anonymous says she confronted him about this, he apologised and they moved on with their relationship.  Anonymous says she then found out that he was cheating again, and they separated but later got back together.  Anonymous says fast forward to this year, she met a new guy and says he treats her well and they’ve built something. Anonymous says her partner found out that she has someone new and she told her partner that she wants to break up with him because she doesn’t trust him anymore.  Anonymous says she wants to leave her partner but he doesn’t want to break up with her and says he’s stopped cheating. Anonymous is not sure if he really does love her after all he’s done to her.

Ask A Man 11 Sept '24: 'Am I demanding for too much?'

Anonymous says her relationship with guy no.1 lasted about 6 months. Anonymous says she has a son and because of this she gave the guy ground rules to say they’d be spending time outside and he could never sleep over. Anonymous says these limitations seem to have caused tension in their relationship and they eventually broke things off.  Anonymous says her most recent relationship, guy no.2, is someone she dated 10 years ago and they got back together. Anonymous says she feels like the guy doesn’t give her much attention, especially when they are spending time together, and when she brings this up, he doesn’t respond positively to her.  Anonymous says she is not sure if maybe she is the problem in these relationships.

Ask A Man 10 Sep '24: 'I love her but her mother is the problem.'

Anonymous says he’s dating his current girlfriend for a second time, after initially dating for a year and breaking up.  Anonymous says they’ve now been dating for several years and their relationship is fine however the problem is his girlfriend’s mother.  He says recently his girlfriend and her mother asked him to come pick them up and while he was driving with them in the car, they overheard him talking to a friend about colleagues that are taking advantage of him, but misunderstood and thought that he was talking about them. That created a rift, with the mother saying they don’t need him and suggesting that they are not his charity case. Anonymous says the mother told him not to contact them and now anonymous and his girlfriend are not on speaking terms.  Anonymous says when they got back together he was told that his girlfriend has someone and he’s just friend.

Ask a Man 09 Sep '24: 'Is it ok to be ok with being a side chick.'

Anonymous says she’s in her mid thirties and has three kids from three different men. Anonymous says the first child was as a result of being young. She was in love with the second guy but he didn’t love her, and then with the third guy she didn’t love him but fell pregnant by accident with his child and she tried to develop something with him but it didn’t work. Anonymous says she’s now in the talking stage with a fourth guy, who’s dating someone else, and says he’s in love with her and she likes him too but she doesn’t want anything too deep with him, and has explained to him that she’s ok being a sidekick.  Anonymous wonders if she’s selling herself short with this request.

Ask A Man 06 Sept '24: 'My partner of 4 months is a social media stalker.'

Anonymous says he’s been dating a lady for the last four months and things have been good, however, he says she’s constantly stalking his social media pages.  Anonymous says he’s an entrepreneur and posts to promote his business and she’s always asking him about people commenting on his pages.  Anonymous says it’s too much for him and doesn’t know if he should move forward with her.

Ask A Man 05 Sep '24: 'I tried monogamy and it's not for me.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 2 years and says when they met each other she told the guy at the time that she’s not really into monogamy and wasn’t looking for anything serious. He told her that he’s not into that and wants something serious.  Despite their differences they continued with their relationship and anonymous says she fell for him and she enjoyed the relationship. However, anonymous says she’s enjoying the relationship a lot but still feels like she doesn’t want to be monogamous.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to move forward. 

Ask A Man 04 Sep '24: 'My two partners have partners and one of them is pregnant.'

Anonymous says he’s in his late twenties and says he’s known girl no.1 since they were really young  and says after going through somethings they broke up and he moved on with his life but over the years he and girl no.1 kept up with each other and would hook up here and there.  Anonymous says he met girl no.2 at work and it was love at first sight, however, after becoming a couple she told anonymous that she’s actually in a long distance relationship with a guy from her hometown, however, they continued and anonymous says he fell deeply for her.  Anonymous says time has gone by and she was still with the guy from back home. Anonymous says this has caused a rift and he ended up finding himself in the arms of girl no.1 again, who is also in a relationship with someone else. Anonymous says girl no.1 is now pregnant and is not sure if anonymous is the father.

Ask A Man 30 Aug '24: 'My partner cheated on me with his cousin'

Anonymous says he’s been dating his partner since high school and they were each other’s neighbours. Anonymous says their relationship really took off when they were in varsity and they even came out to their families.  Anonymous says their relationship has been great and says his partner has been a very supportive partner. However, anonymous says recently he came back home unexpectedly and found his partner having sex with his own cousin and anonymous says after confronting his partner, the partner told him that he had resorted to cheating on him because anonymous’ sex drive is low.  Anonymous is not sure if he should continue with the relationship.

Ask A Man 02 Sep '24: 'When culture clashes come in the way.'

Anonymous says she met her now ex fiancé back in 2018 while working together. Anonymous says things got off to a rocky start and they broke up because he was dealing with another women that he had impregnated.  Anonymous says they dated again years later, while she was pregnant with her first child. Anonymous says a problem in their relationship is that her partner wanted more sexual intimacy than anonymous could offer, and that caused a rift between them.  Anonymous says she fell pregnant with his child and things got even more rocky during pregnancy and they experienced a lot of conflict during that time.  Anonymous says he’s family paid lobola for her, however she struggled with the up keep of his family’s cultural traditions, some of which clashed with her religion and that’s what has led to them now breaking up. Anonymous says she’s struggling to let him go.

Ask A Man 30 Aug '24: 'How do I navigate the dating game after 12 years in a relationship?'

Anonymous says he’s back on the market after 12 years in a relationship and says he’s just made his return into the dating game and he says he’s not understanding dating these days, he feels like the game has changed.  Anonymous says he’s an indoors kind of person but feels like the people he keeps meeting are just all over the place, always going out, something he doesn’t get. Anonymous needs help dating again. 

Ask A Man 29 Aug '24: 'Am I selfish for not wanting another baby with my partner?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since high school, however, in their matric year he impregnated another girl, she also fell pregnant around the same time and they continued with their relationship.  Anonymous says they’ve been together for 24 years now but he did have an affair with another woman for about 2 years 10 years ago, but they’ve since moved on from that. Anonymous says they had agreed they would not have more kids, however, he has now changed his mind and as a result of family pressure, he wants to have another child, but she’s not interested.  Anonymous says she doesn’t want another child as she feels like she doesn’t have the capacity to raise another child. Anonymous says this has now caused a rift in their relationship and she’s not sure if she’s being selfish for not wanting to have another child.

Ask A Man 28 Aug '24: 'The mother of my partner's baby is always visiting his family home'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since November last year and says the relationship was fine until her partner introduced her to his family.  Anonymous says her partner lives with his family and says the mother of his child is always there with his family. Anonymous says she brought up that she’s not comfortable with how often his ex visits but that only ended up causing a rift between her and his family and led to tension within their relationship.  Anonymous says they also have other issues in their relationship, however she feels like he never wants to address any conflicts they run into in their relationship. Anonymous says he tends to go quiet and she’s always the one to reach out to him to try and resolve the conflict.  Anonymous is not sure if she should remain in this relationship and wonders if she might be the problem.

Ask A Man 27 Aug '24: 'My partner is always discussing our issues on his radio show.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her partner for 10 months and he is a radio presenter. Anonymous says she’s noticed a pattern in their relationship, she says overtime they have a relationship quarrel he takes it to air on his show, even tough he refuses to discuss those things with her when she brings them up.  Anonymous says another issue is that he is not earning much and says she’s tried to motivate him to make career moves that would lead him to doing better financially, however, anonymous says he doesn’t really take her advice and has gone on air speaking about partners that try to control you.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to feel about all this.

Ask A Man 26 Aug '24: 'My ex partner is focused on us and not the kids.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 12 years and says she was a side chick for the first two years of their relationship. Anonymous says while in the relationship she had a one night stand and fell pregnant.  Anonymous says her partner found out that the child wasn’t his, something he wasn’t happy about but decided to remain in a relationship with anonymous because he loved her. Anonymous says years later they now have two children together.  Anonymous says her partner has been emotionally abusive towards her over the years. She adds that he lost his job at some point and stopped supporting her and the children.  Anonymous says over the last year he started cheating on her and despite having money now, he is not supporting the children. Anonymous is not sure how to move forward.

Ask A Man 23 Aug '24: 'Should I return to my cheating ex?'

Anonymous says she dated her ex for 5 years and he cheated on her multiple times. Anonymous says she eventually broke up with him because of his cheating ways. Anonymous says before she broke things off with him, he revealed that he was HIV positive.  Anonymous says she moved on and dated someone else but ended that relationship because the guy was a bit dodgy. Anonymous says her ex now wants her back and she’s not sure if she should get back together with him because despite he’s cheating ways, he used to be good to her as a partne

Ask A Man 22 Aug '24: 'Is my partner still committed to his baby mama or me?

Anonymous says she met a guy last year while she was in a relationship and that guy was also in a relationship. Anonymous says they wanted to break up with their partners but she made him delay his break as his partner at the time was pregnant and she advised that he wait until she gives birth.  Anonymous says they kept their relationship a secret until his parents caught her with him. Anonymous says he’s still kind of with the baby mama, who lives with him and his parents, and says she’s not sure if he’s fooling her.  Anonymous says he tends to not communicate when he’s not with her and says when he is with her, the mother of his child is always calling needing things from him. Anonymous says she’s not sure if she should hold on and wait on him to commit fully to her or just move on.

Ask A Man 21 Aug '24: 'Should I marry him despite finding him physically unattractive?'

Anonymous says she met guy on a dating app three years ago and they ended up meeting up. Anonymous says she wasn’t attracted to some of his physical attributes when they first met and therefore didn’t continue anything with him.  Anonymous says now, 3 years later, he reached out to her asking her to assist him in planning his mother’s birthday party, anonymous says they met up and even ended up having sex despite him being uncircumcised, something she has a problem with.  It’s been 3 weeks since they reconnected and she even met his family. He now wants to marry her in the next two months but anonymous doesn’t know if she should marry him, especially because she’s not physically attracted to him and he’s still uncircumcised. She wonders if she can change his look.

Ask A Man 20 Aug ‘24: ‘He broke up with me, engaged someone else & now wants me back.’

Anonymous says her and her partner have been together for the last few years but she says last year he started changing his behaviour towards her and anonymous says he eventually told her that he was uncomfortable living with her as his family were not happy with that and they were scared he might impregnate her which would mean he would have 4 children with 4 different women out of wedlock.  Anonymous says she moved out but went back after he called her saying he misses her. Anonymous says their relationship wasn’t great after she moved back and he confessed that he had fallen out of love with her.  Anonymous says she moved out after this but he called again saying he misses her. Anonymous says they were meant to meet up but he didn't show up and he ghosted her. Anonymous says she then heard from his sister who revealed that he announced to the family that he's marrying another woman.  Anonymous says a few weeks after hearing about the engagement he reached out to her and they met and he told her that he wants to be in a polygamous relationship, something anonymous didn’t show a keen interest in. Anonymous says he has now said to her that he doesn’t want his fiancé anymore and wants to be with her, he’s still together Anonymous is confused by all this. 

Ask A Man 16 Aug '24: 'Should I leave my inconsistent partner?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for about a year and a half now and things have been good, however they got into a serious fight in the last few months and things became really sour but they resolved the issue.  Anonymous says since then she’s noticed that his behaviour is on and off and she never knows which version of him she’s going to get.  Anonymous says she wonders if she can carry on with him like that, she says she loves him and is scared of losing him as he’s her first really serious relationship. 

Ask A Man 19 Aug '24: 'I feel like my partner is not very helpful post baby''

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for about 8 years now and they moved in together a year into their relationship. Anonymous says they couldn’t agree on buying property but she eventually bought a place in 2021 and they live together there.  Anonymous says she gave birth to their child this year and they are now married but she feels like she’s carrying all the weight in the relationship in various aspects. Anonymous says he’s not there for her and their family in the way that she expected.

Ask A Man 15 Aug '24: 'My boyfriend married someone else but still wants me.

Anonymous  has a child and has been with her partner for about 3 years now and things have been good. The problem is that the guy wants to have a child with anonymous but anonymous says she’s not ready to have another child, especially out of wedlock.  Anonymous says he then tried to hire a surrogate for them but which persuaded her to try and have a baby with him, however they were not able to conceive, something that frustrated her partner and he needed up getting married to someone else.  He now wants to be with her and engage in a polygamous marriage but she’s not interested.

Ask A Man 14 Aug '24: 'My married boyfriend is great but I'm not sure I want to continue.'

Anonymous says she broke with her ex after finding out that he had been cheating on her with multiple women. Anonymous says she realised months after they broke up that she was pregnant, however she miscarried but never told him about this. Anonymous is wondering if she should tell him about this.  Anonymous says another situation is that she’s in a relationship with a married man. Anonymous says they did break up at some point with this guy as she realised they don’t have a bright future together, however, they got back together a couple of months ago. Anonymous says she’s not sure if she wants to carry on with the guy, as she’s uncomfortable in the relationship, but she doesn’t know how to break up with him. 

Ask A Man 13 Aug '24: 'Is my partner with me for money?'

Anonymous says he’s been dating his partner since the beginning of this year and things have become weird since her birthday.  Anonymous says when it was his birthday she didn’t do much for him but on her birthday she expected him to take her out but he couldn’t because of his finances, which led to her going out with friends and not communicating with him while she’s out and about.  Anonymous says she’s very financially demanding and doesn’t he doesn’t understand her behaviour, especially because they’ve only been dating for 6 months. Anonymous adds that she’s a bully and he’s struggling to date her but he loves her.

Ask A Man 12 Aug '24: 'Should I stay in my toxic relationship?'

Anonymous says he met his current partner, lady no.2, in 2021 while he was dating lady no.1 whom he had impregnated but their relationship was tanking because he felt disrespected by lady no.1 who eventually started dating someone else.  Anonymous says problems started happening in his relationship with lady no.2 because she had STIs and it was left unexplained where they were coming from. Anonymous says he eventually went through her phone and found dodgy messages between his partner and other guys.  Anonymous says they took a break from having sex because of all of this and during that he started having a sexual affair with someone else on the side, his partner found out, but they dealt with it and continued with their relationship.  Anonymous says he has since found other texts between her and another guy, he adds that he’s currently going through a loss and she’s not even there for her. Anonymous says this situation reminds him of his previous relationship and he’s not sure if he should move on.

Ask A Man 08 Aug '24: " I can't get over my ex who saved me.'

Anonymous says she met an older guy a while back and she fell deep in love with him. Anonymous says last year she found him with another lady at his place, however she forgave him for this and they continued dating.  Anonymous says she moved closer to him to be with him and he even got her a job, however, Anonymous says things have faded between them and he doesn’t really talk to her anymore.  Anonymous says she’s hurt by this and wants to move on but she’s struggling to deal with her feelings for him and doesn’t want to let him go because despite his behaviour, she’s in love with him. Anonymous wants to know how to get over her feelings.

Ask a Man: 'Should I marry my much younger man despite his mom being against it?'

Anonymous says she met her current partner last October and they have a 9 year age gap. Anonymous says he now wants to marry her and she’s keen but her partner’s mother is not giving them her blessing.  Anonymous says her partner’s mom thinks her son still needs to grow and have fun with his age mates, however, anonymous says her partner’s father approves.  Anonymous says she did find things from other girls on his phone but they resolved that as it was just exes that wanted him back.  Anonymous says they want to move forward with this but the mother is in their way and she’s not sure if she should move forward with the wedding either way.

Ask A Man 06 Aug '24: 'My partner ghosted me after impregnating someone else.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 12 years and says their relationship has been good. Anonymous says they had to move to separate provinces because of their jobs and says things have now gone pear-shaped. Anonymous says the guy started ghosting her earlier this year and just ignored her out of nowhere.  Anonymous says he reached out to her only her birthday just over month ago, and when she posted a status saying she was in hospital he reached out to her checking if she’s ok.  Anonymous says she took that opportunity to confront him about his cagey behaviour and that’s when he revealed that he had impregnated another woman.  Anonymous says she’s hurt by this and doesn’t know how to react, she adds that she feels like keeping him around so she can avenge this and make him feel what she feels.  Anonymous says they haven’t spoken for 2 months now.

Ask A Man 05 Aug '24: 'An ultimatum from a verbally abusive partner.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for just under two years now. She says everything was cool in the beginning of the relationship however as things went by he became verbally abusive and they would get into a lot of fights. Anonymous says after a recent fight she confronted him about his behaviour he defended his behaviour and said that anonymous is over sensitive and if she can’t handle his behaviour, she’ll have to leave him. Anonymous is not sure if she is being sensitive or if he’s just bad for her and she should just leave.

Ask A Man 02 Aug '24: 'My partner says I smother him'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since the second half of last year and says while they were on vacation last year with a group of friends she accidentally found saw a message from a girl who had sent anonymous’ partner images of herself in a bikini.  Anonymous says she eventually told him about the picture messages she saw and he explained to her that he wasn’t interested in that other girl and she was obsessed with him, something anonymous confirmed after getting a thorough look at the texts.  Anonymous says months later her partner has told anonymous that he feels like he walks on egg shells around her since the incident. Anonymous says her partner has told her that he’s not sure if he wants to continue with the relationship as he feels like she smothers him.

Ask A Man 01 Aug '24: 'I can't afford my girlfriend's lifestyle'

Anonymous says he’s in his mid-twenties and he is currently a student. Anonymous says they’ve been together for four years with his partner and finances have become an issue in their relationship. Anonymous says after he didn’t buy her anything for her birthday, she complained and said anonymous doesn’t do anything for her and doesn’t buy her things, something anonymous disputes. Anonymous says he’s a student and not financially capable of fulfilling the financial expectations that his girlfriend has of him. Anonymous is not sure if he should continue being in a relationship with her as it seems she might need someone who is more financially capable.

Ask A Man 31 July '24: 'My man says I emasculate him.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 7 years and they have two children together.  Anonymous says they took their kids to the clinic this morning and while there she asked her partner to fix their child’s pants and he didn’t like this  saying that he didn’t like that she asked him in front of another man as this made him feel small.  Anonymous says he added that she’s always making him feel small in front of other people. Anonymous says she understands that he’s going through a lot as he’s unemployed and going through some financial issues with his family, however, she’s not sure how to deal with this.

Ask A Man 30 July '24: 'No sex for two years, is there anything left to save?'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her partner for the last 6 years and says she came into the relationship with one child and they have one child together.  Anonymous says finances are an issue in their relationship as she does everything in the house despite him earning much more than her.   Anonymous says she also feels lonely in her relationship because he’s distant and sometimes doesn’t even sleep in their bed and they haven’t had sex in 2 years.  Anonymous says she’s HIV positive and feels like he might be staying with her because he feels sorry for her because of her status.  Anonymous doesn’t know if she should stay in the relationship.

Ask A Man 26 July '24: 'Is my ex's child mine?'

Anonymous says he met a lady in April 2021 and they started dating even though she already had a boyfriend. Anonymous says a month after their relationship started, the lady requested that anonymous impregnate her. Anonymous says two months after the request was made she fell pregnant, but anonymous says he didn’t take this seriously.  Anonymous says they then started fighting a lot and he asked her if he’s the father and anonymous says she said he is the father as she had broken up with her boyfriend. Anonymous says they ended up breaking up with this lady and she got back together with her boyfriend.  Anonymous says the lady later told him that he’s not actually the father and her boyfriend is the father.  Anonymous says he moved on from this but says dreams that his current partner is having are alerting him and he wants to find out if this is his child. Anonymous says the lady is now married to the guy so he doesn't know how to tackle this.

Ask A Man 24 July '24: 'Will he forgive my cheating?'

Anonymous says after 3 years of being with her partner she ended up cheating on him because of his lack of communication, he even disappeared for about 3 months. Anonymous says they ended up breaking up because she cheated on him, however, they’ve now gotten back together years later but anonymous says they seem to be struggling to build their new relationship because he’s struggling to trust her after what she did in their previous relationship.

Ask a Man 25 July '24: 'My partner says she cheated on me for a job.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 8 years and says he recently found out that his partner has been cheating on him with a guy that he knows for about 5 months.  Anonymous says they are still trying to work on their relationship after this but he’s struggling to move on as he feels like she’s lying to him about the reasons why she cheated on him.  Anonymous says her excuse for cheating on him is that the guy was offering her a job and she was just using him to get a job - a job she still doesn’t have.  Anonymous is struggling to believe this and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 23 July '24: 'Should I tell my cheating partner I'm pregnant with another man's baby?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her boyfriend for almost 10 years and after finding out that he cheated on her multiple times she started cheating on him and has been having that affair for about a year. Anonymous says after testing for HIV with her side they started having unprotected sex. Anonymous says she isn’t on any pregnancy prevention methods because after 10 years with her partner she never fell pregnant, however, she is now pregnant and says based on when she slept with her side, she believes he’s the father of the baby. She’s told her side about the pregnancy but doesn’t know how to go about telling her partner.

Ask A Man 22 July '24: 'I refused to marry my boyfriend, so he married someone else.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for two years on and off. Anonymous says the guy is rich and when he wanted to marry her after two weeks of knowing her she was suspicious and suspected that he was trying to do this for witchcraft related reasons, so she held back a bit on their relationship and said no to the marriage proposal but months later they continued with a more casual relationship. Anonymous says they eventually got serious in their relationship but she found out that he married someone else while they were still more casual. Anonymous says she’s continued to date him for a year knowing that he’s married and says she’s willing to become a second wife but she’s not sure if that’s the right thing to do on her part.

Ask A Man 19 July '24: 'Why do I keep going back to my cheating husband.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her husband for almost 7 years now and they have one child together and anonymous has two of her own kids. Anonymous says her partner is constantly cheating on her and it’s been happening throughout their relationship. Anonymous says she’s been confronting him about this and it led to him kicking her out of their house last December, saying he’s done with their marriage. Anonymous says she keeps going back to him and can’t help it. She doesn’t know how to move forward from this situation.

Ask A Man 18 July '24: 'My partner has too many friends of the opposite sex.'

Anonymous says his partner has a lot of male friends, which is something he noticed as their now 6 month relationship developed. Anonymous says he told his partner that he’s not happy with her having male friends and thinks she should drop her friends of the opposite sex. Anonymous says despite them discussing this issue, she continued to go out with a particular male friend who takes her out for dinners. Anonymous says she keeps hiding the meet ups she has with this guy. Anonymous says they did break up but she wants to get back together and he doesn’t know if he can handle the fact that she has male friends and wants to keep them despite his discomfort.

Ask A Man 17 July '24: 'Did my cheating cause the demise of my relationship?'

Anonymous says before he met his current girlfriend he had had his heart broken and had decided that he would never fall deeply for anyone. Anonymous says despite this he slowly fell in love with his partner who he met in 2021. Anonymous says he found her partner with one child and a year into their relationship he made a request that they have a child together. Anonymous says his partner was not ready for financial reasons and when they both finally had work they decided to try and anonymous’ partner did fall pregnant but she ended up aborting the baby despite him being against that. Anonymous says after all this he met someone new and impregnated that lady. Anonymous says he initially kept this child a secret from his partner but ended up telling his partner about the child. Anonymous says this has affected their relationship and he now suspects that his partner is cheating on him.

Ask A Man 16 July '24: 'How do I heal from my daddy issues?'

Anonymous says she hasn’t had a relationship with her father for about 15 years and recently she asked him for help and he couldn’t help her which triggered her and her trauma. Anonymous says this has highlighted how she struggles to deal with men and doesn’t know how to relationship with men, especially the father of her child because of her childhood trauma. Anonymous says she wants to learn how to love herself and be able to love fully in relationships.

Ask A Man 15 July '24: 'My partner wants a baby with someone else.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend for 8 years now. Anonymous says they had an abortion early in their relationship because of the circumstances at the time and that is now affecting their relationship. Anonymous says both him and his partner want to have a baby however he says his partner says she doesn’t want to have a baby with him because she feels like he forced the abortion on her and she’s also worried about anonymous’ toxic family. Anonymous says his partner still wants to be in a relationship with him despite this.  Anonymous says he doesn’t understand what to do in a situation like this.

Ask A Man 12 July '24: 'I'm cheating on my girlfriend with her mother.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend for 4 yers now and things have been fine in their relationship, but the issue is his girlfriend’s mother. Anonymous says he was trying to get his girlfriend a gift and went to his girlfriend’s mother for advice on the gift, however, anonymous says while he was there his girlfriend’s mother was making subtle advances at him and they ended up sleeping with each other, anonymous says he is now having an affair with his girlfriend’s mother. Anonymous says he's tired of this situation and doesn't know how to get out of it. 

Ask A Man 11 July '24: 'Should I keep getting punished for cheating multiple times?'

Anonymous says he’s been in a relationship for 4 years and he says they have two kids with his partner. Anonymous says he liked a different lady before meeting his partner but that lady friend zoned him and he moved on. Anonymous says that lady then came back into his life while he was already with his current partner and he had a bit of an affair with the lady. Anonymous says the affair ended when his wife fell pregnant but his partner later found the messages between him and this lady. Anonymous says they got passed this with his partner but as time went by his partner got very angry and always lashing out at him. Anonymous says they went through a few things after this, emotionally and financially, which strained the relationship, anonymous even had an affair with someone else. Anonymous has now broken up with his partner, but is not sure if he should get her back. 

Ask A Man 10 July '24: 'Am I competing with my partner's late ex?'

Anonymous and his partner have been together for a year now. Anonymous says his partner is great, however, recently he saw his partner’s social media status and she had posted about how she buried her previous long term partner and hasn’t been the same ever since. Anonymous says he was taken aback by this status and they don’t really talk about her past relationship. Anonymous confronted her about the status and she has apologised to him for how it made him feel. He’s not sure if he’s overplaying the whole thing.

Ask A Man 09 July '24: 'I feel like my boyfriend & his kids are using me.'

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with a man for a year, she’s 56 and he’s 59, she has two kids and he has 5 kids. Anonymous says she makes more money than the guy and he’s constantly spending her money on him and his grown up kids. Anonymous says she feels like he’s using her because she’s financially more capable. She’s loves him but isn’t sure if he loves her in the same way.

Ask A Man 08 July '24: 'Should I keep dating my ex who's getting married?'

Anonymous says says he dated girl no.1 from 2017 to 2021, he then started dating girl no.2 in 2022 and things faded between them earlier this year, they are still together but they are not really on good terms. Anonymous says he’s now back to having a relationship with girl no.1, however girl no.1 is now in the process of being “lobolad” by another man who she now has a baby with. Anonymous says they are still carrying on with their affair with girl no.1, he’s not sure if he should remain in this situationship with girl no.1.

Ask A Man 04 July '24: 'Revenge cheating is costing us our relationship.'

Anonymous says his partner caught him cheating on her late last year with another woman, which he did in reaction to her cheating on him. Anonymous says they initially broke up after this but got back together looking to work things out. Anonymous says since they’ve been back together his partner keeps bringing up the fact the he cheated on her and she doesn’t seem to be getting over what happened. Anonymous says he wants to be with her but doesn’t know if he can live like that.

Ask A Man 03 July '24: 'I don't know what to do about my wife and 3 girlfriends.'

Anonymous says he’s married with 3 kids and is currently dating 3 different women and has been with them for a few years now. Anonymous says they all support him financially and they know he’s married. Anonymous says he’s tired because this puts him on a very hectic schedule of handling all 4 of his partners and he doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 02 July '24: "How should I deal with my lazy husband?"

Anonymous says she met her partner in September last year and they moved in together in January of this year, and got married in February. Anonymous says everything has been fine however she feels like her husband is lazy, she basis this on the fact that he keeps quitting his jobs and doesn’t give any valid reasons. Anonymous says this puts a huge financial burden on her. Anonymous says she’s calling today because he has once again quit his job, she doesn’t know what to do because he’s generally a good husband in all other departments.

Ask A Man 01 July '24: 'Should I wait for my husband to break up with his girlfriend?'

Anonymous says she got married to her now ex husband in 2019 despite him finding out that she had cheated on him in the early stages of their long distance relationship. Anonymous says just before they got married her partner cheated on her and impregnated another lady. They continued their relationship and got married. Anonymous says this time last year she found out he was cheating on her again and broke up with him. Anonymous says she started a new relationship with someone else but ended it and got back together with him, however he still cheated again and they’ve gone their separate ways. Anonymous says he continues to reach out to her and she also tends to stalk him on social media. Anonymous says she’s now started talking to him about getting back together again, however he’s in a relationship with someone else and has promised anonymous that he’ll leave the other woman for her. Anonymous says she feels like this happened because she cheated at the beginning of their relationship. They are still married.